Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Out-Of-Context Texts In My Phone Inbox, Vol. 4

As always, the identities of the original texters will remain hidden forever. Or until I publish my unauthorized autobiography. That's right, UNauthorized. I don't trust myself to tell the truth about myself.

"Well, as long as you're not waking up just now...."

"Did you reserve a table or not? There was a 15-person table saved for Mark. Not that many coming, is there?"

'Sorry, Andrew and Eric already agreed to Sherlock. You could always go twice."


"Home now, dinner at 1900. Plans tonight?"

"I like your trade but Yahoo won't let me take it until tomorrow. Watch out for Hurk. He saw it on the computer and wants to sabotage it."

"Hey Mark! Are you still at Clinton's? I'm just finished work now."

"Jaysus. Sorry. Why did Rodgers have to look like such a fucking cock on the sideline??"

"You wanna pick up some snackos on the way? I've got not much."

"Football game(s) today. Let me know if you wanna watch it here. I was gonna do up burgs and dogs on the bbq for eats."

"I have red pubic hair....HA HA HA TERRY"

"Why are they going to lose this game?"

"It's madness in here. I'm in line at the self serve kiosk furthest from the door."

"Hey bud, I don't think I'm going to be able to make football today. I have some work to do then I plan on falling asleep on the couch."

"UFC tomorrow?"

"Happy birthday! Sorry I left without saying goodbye. Blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol!"

"Are they here yet?"

"Hey, my parents live here."

"My birthday present to you is Anthony Gonzalez."

"Sorry, international phone call to Ireland."

"Merry Christmas. Keep me posted on movie plans."

"Yeah, I think she had a very good time."


"Dave Sapunjis just got arrested for killing a man."

"Get online!"

"Excellent! Who is this?"

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