On Conan O'Brien's final 'Tonight Show' on Friday, he made a classy statement thanking NBC (in spite of their brutal mistreatment of him over the last month) for giving him a shot on the air in the first place. It was a truly gentlemanly act from a man who admitted to hating cynicism more than anything in the world.
So, you might think that I would be inspired by Conan's example to not mention how the hated Minnesota Vikings totally crapped the bed yesterday with a shocking display of bad play-calling, fumbles and interceptions to blow the NFC Championship Game. And you're right, I won't mention anything. (Though this guy will.) So instead I'll just point out the bright sides of the situation. Imagine a Kermit the Frog-esque 'Yayyyy!' punctuating every point.
Cheer up, Vikings fans! Brad Childress signed a three-year contract extension!
Cheer up, Vikings fans! Since I know some of you were uncomfortable with having your long-time nemesis Brett Favre quarterbacking your team, he'll probably (finally) retire this off-season. Then you can put your awkwardness aside and cheer for your own homegrown quarterback, Tarvaris Jackson!
Cheer up, Vikings fans! You dominated the game in terms of total yardage and time of possession! So between those things and winning the game, you won two out of three!
Cheer up, Vikings fans! Sure, Adrian Peterson fumbles the ball on every third carry. But he's still the best running back in the NFL!....okay, top five best....okay, top ten best. But still, top ten is pretty good!
Cheer up, Vikings fans! If the Vikes had made it to the Super Bowl, they would've surely lost, thus setting the NFL record for most Super Bowl losses (0-5). This spares you that pain!
Cheer up, Vikings fans! Now you have an even more painful loss to replace the 1999 NFC Championship Game in your collective memories! Unless the ease with which Garrett Hartley drilled that winning field goal brought back echoes of Gary "Mr. Perfect" Anderson's miss from 38 yards out in 1999. But still!
Cheer up, Vikings fans! Now "How I Met Your Mother" has fodder for another episode where Marshall goes to the Little Minnesota bar!
Cheer up, Vikings fans! The team hasn't moved to Los Angeles yet!