Haven't been posting much lately due to an oddly busy week. I was laid up with a nasty cold for a couple of days, in addition to all of my year-in-review TFC stuff (which, unfortunately, I'm writing now instead of two, three or four weeks from now in the midst of the MLS Cup playoffs). Even worse, what few posting ideas I did have were quickly made irrelevant by various events. For instance....
* Paul Beeston was hired as the Blue Jays' team president, thus big-footing my planned post wherein I'd write my cover letter for applying to said job. Now sure, I'm not technically qualified for this job, but that didn't stop them from hiring Paul Godfrey. My resume speaks for itself --- winner of a baseball fantasy league, former bar doorman ("My security background would help better control the rowdy Opening Day crowds!") and my sterling writing ability would've led to no shortage of scathing op-eds in response to local media who would dare question my moves. Trust me, had the Star's Morgan Campbell wondered why my first order of business as president was to have a giant bronze statue of myself erected in front of the Rogers Centre, my response would've been a masterpiece of wit. Or, just a 1000-word rant that could've been just summarized as 'sez you.' I would've been a great candidate, but I guess Paul Beeston is also good. I guess.
* I also had a post/poll ready asking what I should be for Halloween, with a number of increasingly bizarre options that ranged from "Pinhead from Hellraiser" to " 'The Battle of Milvian Bridge,' by 16th-Century Mannerist Artist Giulio Romano." But then, well, I had a Halloween party on Friday night, so time was of the essence. My eyes darted around the room, falling on my Roberto Clemente throwback Pirates jersey. Then, I looked down at my computer and noticed my USB cord. So, I simply wore the jersey and hung the cord around my neck and went as 'Pirating Cable.' There was a whole two minutes of thought put into that costume, but hey, at least it was cheap. The Halloween party was fun, by the way. The top costume of the bunch was probably my friend Noah, who came as struggling drywall salesman Steve Hawerchuck. The only downside is that Noah went around literally giving 5-10 minute sales pitches for drywall all night, so if you got stuck in a corner with him, you'd better have been prepared to keep up the improv until he was done.
So those were my two big post ideas for the week, and now they're both totally gone by the wayside. Blergh. What could possibly cheer me up?
Oh wait, THIS.
Another secret of comedy
2 hours ago