Monday, July 09, 2007

Amateur Dream Analysis

DREAM: I'm locked in a room with a panther. It is stalking and growling while I try to open the door but my hand keeps slipping off of the knob. I can see a beach outside through some sort of window, but the thought of trying to break through the window doesn't occur to me.
ANALYSIS: I had this dream when I was very young, and it was one of the few times when I actually woke up scared out of my mind. I must've recently seen some sort of panther-related film or TV show; I blame that nunchuck-wielding Panthro from Thundercats. This dream led to my lifelong disdain for the Florida Panthers, Carolina Panthers and legendary Indian film Pather Panchali. I know it has nothing to do with panthers, but the spelling is close enough. That said, I have no ill will towards the Black Panthers. It may be because had I been wearing one of the Panthers' trademark black gloves, I would've been able to grip the doorknob and get out of the room.

DREAM: Courteney Cox is running for president. She is at a podium debating Mitt Romney and Joe Biden. Pundits describe her as a 'popular dark horse' to win and someone makes a "She's America's Friend" pun.

ANALYSIS: I'm such a loser. Whereas most men would dream of Courteney Cox in an illicit way, I'm dreaming of her discussing health care. You know what's weird? If nothing else, Courteney Cox could probably fund a halfway decent political campaign. She was pulling in about $25 million per year during the last few years of Friends, which is pretty crazy if you actually think about how it. Everyone knocks athletes for their big paycheques, but Courteney Cox made more than A-Rod. You figure that not all of it went towards, say, a fleet pinball machines for David Arquette. Running for president is a more worthwhile pursuit than, say, Joey, The Comeback, Studio 60, a high-profile divorce caused by Angelina Jolie and....well, in Schwimmer's case, nothing. Also, apropos of nothing, Courteney Cox is one of those people who must be referred to by both names at all times. Like Sam Jackson, Joan Allen, Tommy Lee Jones, etc. It just sounds weird to say or write 'Cox.' I'm such a prude.

DREAM: I'm flying, yet not actually flying. More like jumping. I'm able to take huge leaps into the air that cover about a quarter-kilometre coasting through the air before softly landing on the ground.

ANALYSIS: I suppose everyone has dreams where they're flying, except for me. Maybe it's because I'm too grounded HAW HAW HAW I AM HILARIOUS. My immense respect for gravity is apparent even in my sleeping state. This dream is part of the reason that, in spite of my fear of heights, I've always wanted to try bungee jumping. The feeling of the harness around you is probably similar to the feeling of the jumps in my dream. As far as superpowers go, the ability to jump long distances would be pretty cool. It would cut down on transit. You would dominate in long jump at the Olympics. Fun fact: Superman's original propulsion power was simply to be able to jump a long distance. That's where the 'leap tall buildings in a single bound' part of his introduction comes from. It wasn't until the 40's that the comic writers changed his abilities to actual flight.

DREAM: I've had recurring dreams for years where I'm either attending or teaching at a high school that is a cross between my own high school alma mater Oakridge, Macdonald Hall from the Gordon Korman books, Hogwarts and an M.C. Esher painting. The odd thing is, I remember virtually nothing from these dreams except the setting and what it usually involves me being humiliated or observing some odd situation.

ANALYSIS: Maybe, like Wooderson, I'm just stuck in a high school mindset or caught in nostalgia for my secondary school days. Though that's odd since I only enjoyed about 2.5 years of high school. If I wanted to return to something that was only half-satisfying, I'd be having dreams about listening to Melon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. I guess it's a good sign that whatever trauma I carry about high school is limited to my dreams, unlike some people who deal with it by basically pretending they're still in high school. Then again, I just recently moved out, I still hang out with many of my friends from Oakridge and am currently wearing a shirt that I have owned for at least 10 years. Hmm...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey, this is Ryan. I work with Wasko and he showed me your blog. You've certainly helped me kill a lot of time on the job! You're a great writer, and I hope you don't mind, but I've linked your blog off of my own ( Let me know if you want me to take that down, or something. I just like to make sure people know about good things, y'know?

Jumping is way better than flight because presumably you'd get some really great exercise. If you could just float around all the time you'd never do anything but and all your muscles would atrophy. So, go jumping.

Enjoying this "update every day" business. Wish I could get that keep up that kind of standard of content and frequency.