Thursday, August 01, 2013

Other People's Writing

Who likes my writing?
Huh.  Well, screw you guys.  Enjoy these writers' projects instead.
* Dan Kois of the New York Times profiles Jack "Deep Thoughts" Handey, which is awesome since Jack Handey is the best.  This allows me to link to a list of Handey's 'deep thoughts' jokes from SNL since that was arguably the most reliably funny segment in Saturday Night Live history.  "Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window."

* Hey, remember Ross Rebagliati?  Deadspin's Alan Siegel sure does.

* I won't lie, this is a real puff piece about Joe Biden from GQ's Jeanne Marie Laskas but what the hell, I'll like it anyway since I love Joe Biden, he's a riot.  It's fitting that Biden is Leslie Knope's dream man since I think Biden is a real-life Joe Biden.

* Of all the "this guy was the real brain behind The Simpsons" guys, George Meyer's name seems to crop up the most often.  Splitsider's James Folta looks at one of Meyer's earliest comedy projects, an underground magazine called "Army Man" that has grown to legendary proportions over the years.  It was definitely more well-received than my own comedy magazine called 'Aimee Mann' that was sued into oblivion.  Ironically, no amount of legal representation could "save me" from Mann's lawyers.

* Former wrestling star Diamond Dallas Page has become a workout/yoga guru in recent years, reports Deadspin's Tom Ley, and DDP has taken it upon himself to try and rehabilitate two more ex-wrestling greats, notorious addicts Scott Hall and Jake Roberts.  Given how both men are the poster children for careers wasted by addiction to drugs and alcohol, if Page can pull this off, he's a truly gifted councillor.  Though I dunno, if Hall and Roberts both think Tim Tebow will be a worthwhile asset to the Patriots, that's not a good sign for their sobriety.

* A day in the life at Comic-Con from Grantland's Todd VanDerWerff and yeah, I have to go to Comic-Con at some point in my life.  I even have the perfect costume --- Lex Luthor as Clark Kent.  That's right, it's just my usual bald self in a suit with glasses, and the shirt is opened just enough to reveal a Superman t-shirt underneath.  Either that or go as Bryan Cranston dressed as Walter White in a costume so meta that I just rolled my own eyes at myself.

* The Stoopball League Of America!  I wasn't aware this existed, but Grantland's Louie Lazar has shown us the way.  (Also, "Louie Lazar" is an amazing name.)  Stoopball is not to be confused with 'Snoopball,' and now that I've referenced both Snoop and Rebagliati, I've guaranteed myself at least a couple hundred extra pageviews from confused potheads.

* Who would've thought that a lazy sequel like Red 2 would spawn this interesting column from Grantland's Brian Phillips about how spy movies unleash our inner tourist.  You know, since my mom retired, my parents have been traveling all over the world on various seniors tours.  Is it possible they've actually secret agents and my entire life was the inspiration for Spy Kids?  This isn't not not possible.

* Andy Kaufman's lost tapes, and career in general, are analyzed by Grantland's Alex Pappademas.  I'll be honest, as much as I respect Kaufman's comedy and find many of his bits to be theoretically funny, if I had paid money to see a live Kaufman show and he'd just sat down to read Great Gatsby, I would've been pretty upset.  #CaveatEmptor

* Some goofy-ass questions from Grantland's Shane Ryan about the goofy-ass situation involving Florida Gators linebacker Antonio Morrison "interfering with a police animal."  Don't worry, that's not a euphemism, this really is just a goofy situation.  Ah, college football.

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