Sunday, March 18, 2012

Random Nonsense

It's possible I could be embarking on a new era of creative genius here on the blog since I've gotten a new, comfy chair. For the last several months, I've just been working on an old wooden chair taken from my old apartment's kitchen table, which was suitable but not exactly comfortable. The other day, said chair finally broke under the weight of my backpack. (Thankfully it didn't break under the weight of my fat ass, since then my transformation into a cartoon character would be complete.)

Now, however, I've moved one of our living room's chairs upstairs and it's a treat. It looks like one of those chairs you'd see in a trendy hipster's apartment from the 1970's --- it's rounded without a real back, but with a deep enough dip that it provides support to both my back and my aforementioned fat ass.

Don't underestimate the importance of comfort in the creative process. There's a reason Aaron Sorkin does all his writing while wearing a snuggie and curled up in lavender bedsheets (citation needed). In the past, I've been sitting in that wooden chair, simply banging out prose to get it over with so I could stand up and remove myself from the torture of that uncomfortable seat. Now, however, I can just sink into luxury and allow my imagination to run wild like a cow departing a barn that's on fire. See? Would I have been able to come up with an analogy that silly had I been cooped up in a wooden chair? Mooooost likely not.

….and, with that goddamn cow joke, the new era of creative genius is officially over. It was fun while it lasted.


I enjoyed Casa De Mi Padre and laughed at several points but I can't help but shake the thought that the movie was pretty pointless. Just saying, "Will Ferrell stars in a send-up of Mexican melodramas and it's entirely in Spanish" is a funny idea, but that idea never really goes beyond that. You get a few obligatory jokes about the low production values and some of the signature shots (like the zoom-in closeup during dramatic scenes) are of course copied, but…that's it. There's no added layer of inventiveness that really takes a satire to the next level. To use one recent example, 'Walk Hard' milked every possible bit of mileage out of spoofing musical biopics but it had enough depth that it was a hilarious movie even to those who'd never seen Walk The Line or Ray.

While I guess I'd give the film a borderline recommendation, I'm still not sure why it was an actual movie. You could do the same premise in a 15-minute Funny Or Die video and hit all the same beats. One highlight: Genesis Rodriguez, good lord. I rarely use the word 'luminous' to describe a woman unless she's swallowed a light bulb, but Rodriguez is as stunning as it gets. And, since I called her stunning and not luminous, my streak continues!


The 10 greatest hole-in-ones in mostly recent PGA Tour history. I'm going to tell you right now, the #2 entry (Jonathan Byrd's ace during a playoff to win a tournament) should've been #1. Yeah, I realize #1 was a wild moment given who was involved (no spoilers but you can probably guess) but good lord, Byrd WON A TOURNAMENT on a HOLE-IN-ONE. That's the ultimate Hollywood golf ending and it actually happened in real life.


"[Channing Tatum] deadpans so well here he might start looking at Cary Grant movies for remake ideas." -- Roger Ebert, in his review of 21 Jump Street. Just because you thought you'd live your life without ever once hearing Channing freakin' Tatum compared to Cary freakin' Grant.


I'm presuming this is an elaborate photoshop or a page specifically printed for this gag, but needless to say, I whole-heartedly hope and pray that it's real.


The 25 Greatest Spider-Man Stories Of All Time. Having given up regular comic reading in 1999, I can't say I'm familiar with a lot of these tales (Reign, a thinly-disguised ripoff of Dark Knight Returns? Holy shit, what happened to Flash Thompson?!) but there are some seriously good storylines on this list. Somd quick observations….a) the death of Harry Osborn is way too low, b) it's very cool that "When Cometh The Commuter," one of the goofier issues in Spidey history, made the cut and c) If only they had found room for the Clone Saga and Maximum Carnage HA HA HA just kidding.

No comments: