Dane Cook? Seriously? Screw that...he doesn't get to do romantic comedies with Jessica Alba AND be in commercials extolling the love of the game.
Here's why you love baseball.
-- How a player hitting .230 against the rest of the league has a .660 career average against an ace pitcher.
-- Turn back the clock night.
-- The fact that people who flunked out of high school math will spend hours calculating ways to measure a player's stats.
-- Players like Garret Anderson, Tim Wakefield, Bernie Williams, Geoff Jenkins or Jason Varitek. Guys who are All-Stars but a shade below being superstars who have stayed with one club their whole careers (or in Varitek and Wakefield's case, one club for a really long time) and do their job day in and day out. These guys won't make the Hall or anything, but they will be heroes in those towns for decades.
-- The fact that sometimes, the game comes down to the shittiest guy in your lineup at the plate and you can't pinch-hit for whatever reason, so you just have to suck it up and pray.
-- When that shitty player actually comes through with a miraculous hit.
-- That time in eighth grade softball when I completed an unassisted triple play. I will remember this until the day I die.
-- Sliding hard into second base.
-- A player breaks a team record that has stood since 1932.
-- A one-two-three inning takes 15 minutes because of two pitching changes because the manager is worried about lefty-righty matchups.
-- When the game is close in the ninth, and the star player who had the day off comes in to pinch-hit.
-- Half of the free world wouldn't piss on the New York Yankees if they were on fire.
-- The fact that people will be talking about the Mets' collapse for decades to come. Holy crap, that was pathetic.
-- Nolan Ryan headlocking Robin Ventura and feeding him punches.
-- Field of Dreams. This movie only works with baseball. For some reason, I just feel the concept would totally fall apart or get silly if the sport was, say, hockey or football.
-- The beer vendor at the Rogers Centre who looks about 100 years old, has a voice that sounds like velvet death and advertises his product by asking who wants "ice.....collllllddd......beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer."
-- The batter continually hits foul balls to stay alive in a key situation and to wear out the pitcher.
-- Organ music.
-- VORP.
-- A really good mascot. What I wouldn't give to spend a day as the Phillie Phanatic.
-- Hitting a teammate in the face with a shaving-cream pie while he's doing a post-game interview.
-- The double-switch.
-- An old-timey hand-operated scoreboard.
-- When two announcers will spend five minutes comparing a guy's batting stance to seven other players, all of whom played anywhere between 10 and 40 years ago.
-- Two leagues, four playoff spots in each. So when you get into the postseason, it means something.
-- Sacrifice bunts.
-- That moment when you realize your team's fattest and/or slowest player is actually going to try to stretch that single into a double, and you cheer harder in that moment than you've ever cheered in your life.
- The original theme to This Week In Baseball that they still play a snippet of at the end of each show.
-- This Week In Baseball, period.
-- Bill Veeck, one of the greatest human beings to ever live.
-- The fact that getting to first, second, third and home is still a common sexual euphemism.
-- The replay of a home run swing, when you can see all of the fans slowly standing up in the background to watch it go
-- When a 30-something career minor leaguer finally makes his big league debut.
-- Ignoring a teammate when he's pitching a no-hitter or perfect game.
-- The minors.
-- This article. It rates a bit on the Rick Reilly scale, but it's still pretty cool.
Feel free to include your own.
1 comment:
It's just damn fun to play during the summer. More than any other sport I've played.
And you made an unassisted triple play? How did I never hear this story? (Well, probably because it's not an embarrassing one being told to me by Dave while you're swearing it didn't happen that way.)
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