Friday, August 03, 2007

Random Nonsense

My pal Kyle snagged free tickets to a preview screening of Bourne Ultimatum last night, and boy did that ever turn out to be an awesome evening. I've posted before about my issues with Bourne Supremacy and Paul Greengrass' action-distorting shaky camera, but old Greeny stepped up in a major way for his second crack at a Bourne movie. I'll avoid any spoilers, but I will say that the chase/fight scene in Tangiers was one of my favourite action scenes in any movie in a long time. To put on my film major hat for a moment, the sound effects editing in that sequence alone deserves an Oscar. Remember how the fight scene in Supremacy between Bourne and that guy in the kitchen was criticized in some quarters because you couldn't understand what was happening at all times? Trust me, you see EVERYTHING that happens in this one.

As a bonus, since it was a preview screening, I even got a Bourne Ultimatum t-shirt! I will be wearing this motherfucker out very quickly. I'm even wearing it as I write this post. It is a high improvement over the last movie screening t-shirt I received.....for Cellular. Remember that piece of crap with Chris Evans and Kim Basinger? Yeah. It's a perfectly servicable garment (I still wear it as an undershirt), but the movie was so mediocre that it doesn't even have schlock value.


The Holiday Inn commercial with Cal Ripken Jr. is utterly hilarious. "Oh, so it was your vocation?" Last week's Hall of Fame induction with Ripken and Gwynn was great because you got a strong retired-ballplayer vibe just from looking at them. None of this Jim Palmer-esque nonsense where the guy looks like he can still play. Cal is as bald as I am, and Tony has achieved just about a perfect oval shape.


Some may be spending their vacation at Carabana, or going to a cottage, or just hanging out at home. I'm going to the circus --- namely, the chaos that is David Beckham's first MLS game. There's the press conference tomorrow at the ACC, which isn't at BMO Field simply because the facilities can't handle the overwhelming media requests. It's not from the sporting press, of which there will be tons in attendance, but rather outlets like ET Canada or Star! On the bright side, I might get to meet Rick the Temp. I'll tell him about how he was one of the 'distinguished alumni' listed in my brother's brochures about Brock University. And not just on the list, but, like, second.

Sunday is the game itself, and it was shifted to a night game to accommodate both ESPN and to give the Exhibition Place people time to clean up after Carabana. That's right, Sunday Night Football is back on ESPN! Maybe Joe Theismann and Paul Maguire will come along to commentate. "Ok, watch this, see how he brings that foot back? He swings the leg and BAM, look at that contact." "David Beckham (dramatic pause) can kick the football."

The funny part about the whole situation is that Beckham is questionable with an ankle injury. In my professional capacity as an (ahem) football journalist, I think he'll play. Definitely not the full 90 minutes, but he might come on for a 20-minute cameo at the end of the game as he did in the friendly against Chelsea a couple of weeks ago. Maybe if the ankle is feeling particularly saucy, he might even start the game and play the first half. The bottom line is, unless something goes awry in the next two days, my gut feeling is Beckham will be making his official MLS debut against Toronto FC. Or, more accurately, what's left of Toronto FC. That's the other bit of comedy surrounding this game -- literally half of the TFC roster is injured. Players are dropping like flies. It's not just any players, too, it's their two top strikers, their regular starting goalie, one of their top midfielders and two of their top defenders. If anyone else gets hurt, I may be on the bench next Sunday against New York. I may not be able to add much in terms of playing quality, but I can bring the orange slices.

Also, in somewhat Beckham-related news, Toronto apparently won an online poll to host an extra date on the Spice Girls upcoming reunion tour. Yay Canada? Oh, who am I kidding...masculinity be damned, if I had the money I'd totally go to this show. This begs of the question of which Spice Girl has held up the best since the group's heyday. I think Baby is the hands-down winner in this category. She looks exactly the same, and she was already one of the better-looking ones in the group to begin with. Sporty has ditched the sporty look altogether, perhaps out of 10 years of frustration over being targeted as 'the ugly one' in spite of not being ugly whatsoever. Be honest --- if Mel C. was just some random woman you knew, you'd think she was hot. She merely suffered in comparison to the rest of the group due to the fact that she was the only one who didn't dress like a harlot. It's like Kevin Smith's wife being one of the sexy thieves in Jay And Silent Bob. It's not that Mrs. Smith is bad-looking or anything, but compared to Shannon Elizabeth, Eliza Dushku and Ali Larter, she came up short. I could never decide if that was Smith's way of complimenting his wife, or secretly putting her down.

Anyway, back to the Spice Girls. Geri Halliwell (a.k.a. the Spice Girl who is readily identified by her actual name) still looks pretty good. Scary has had the biggest dropoff. I don't think she packs much of a punch at all any more. The stress of trying to bring Eddie Murphy's sorry ass into court has taken its toll. As for Posh, I was never a big fan back in the day, and I'm not a big fan now. She strikes me as someone who is too self-consciously stylish, and thus isn't actually stylish.

Do you think David Beckham will somehow come across this post between now and Sunday and order me banned from BMO Field for knocking his wife? I think that could be an even better story than the game itself.

To end the Beckham segment, here's the legendary interview of Posh and Becks conducted by Ali G. The best joke in the clip requires a bit of set-up, so here it goes: Scunthorpe United are a notoriously poor English soccer team. That is all. Enjoy.

1 comment:

Chad Nevett said...

I haven't had popcorn in Windsor because I haven't felt like wasting a bag or two trying to figure out the timing.

At my parents' house, I set it for four minutes, but usually stop it when it counts down to 2:20-2:10 depending on the sound. But, I also find that if you want it at its most buttery and hot-ness, you have to stop it with only 75-80% of the kernels popped. You get less, but what you get is much better.

I may not eat "healthy" or "fancy," but I make "crap" with a skill few can come close to.