Monday, May 22, 2017

Melodramatic Bee Theatre

I apparently wrote this years ago and have no memory of it whatsoever.  Clearly it's time for a re-staging!  (A 'bee-'staging?)


* Bill is alone in his kitchen, a bottle of bourbon in front of him at the kitchen table. Brenda, Bill's wife, enters.  They are both bees.*

"Bill, it's 3 in the morning."

"I'm sorry, dear. I've just been thinking."

"Oh no, this isn't about Bobby's accident, is it? I've told you a hundred times, it wasn't your fault!"

"No, it wasn't. I'll wish for the rest of my life that I had taken a different route home from the little league game that day, but you're right, I have to stop blaming myself for being behind the wheel during the accident that put our son in a wheelchair.  I've made my peace with it."

"Oh Bill, I'm so happy to hear that."

"That's because I've focused myself on the true culprit. Brian Jackson. It was Brian who swerved into the oncoming lane and caused that collision. It was Brian who used his money and his high-priced
lawyers to escape justice."

"But Brian is one of your best friends! He said he felt awful about it! He's even offered to pay Bobby's medical bills!"

"His bills? His bills? Oh sure, Brenda, that's your solution to everything, throw a little money at the problem and it'll all go away. A little money won't get our son out of that chair! He'll never be able to
play with the other children, or play ball any more. Brian Jackson robbed my son of a normal life. And for that he must pay."

"Bill, you've had too much to drink. You're acting all crazy."

"Crazy? I'm acting crazy? Is it crazy that I can't to see my son shuffled in and out of hospitals the rest of his life while Brian Jackson is able to go on like nothing happened? No, Brenda, something must be done. I've made up my mind. I'm going to sting him."

"No Bill! You'll die!"

"I've gone over it a hundred times. It's a sacrifice I must make for our son. I have it all planned out. I'm going to catch up with Brian as he's leaving work tomorrow. I'll confront him right there, to his face. Oh, he'll try to talk his way out of it like always, but I'm though listening to his excuses. It's time
for him to pay the price."

"You can't! You can't kill yourself just to get revenge! What about me? What about Bobby, and Brittany and little Benjamin! You can't leave your family behind!"

"You don't think I've thought of that?! This is something I need to do. You've been like a queen to me, Brenda. I'll miss you and the children more than you'll ever know. Someday, the children (especially little Bobby) will remember their father as a man who stood up for his family."

"Bill, you're mad! Don't do this!"

"I've made up my mind, Brenda! I'm doing it! And there's nothing you can say to make my change my mind!"

"But....Brian Jackson is Bobby's real father!"


"It's true, it's true, oh god it's true!"

"You were with Brian before you were with me? But....I thought I was the first male in the flock to catch up with you and mate!"

"Brian got there just before you did. Oh, it was foolish of me to fall for him at the time, but I was young and irresponsible. I didn't know what I was getting into. You know what Brian's like --- he has a lot of charm and sweet words, and before I knew it, I was pregnant with a swarm."

"A whole swarm?"

"Yes, but Bobby was the only one that survived the winter! And then you came along, and the timing was close enough that I just let you think that Bobby was yours. Oh Bill, I fell in love with you, I couldn't bear to break your heart with the news!"

"I can't believe it. Does Brian know?"

"I think he's always known. When we mated, his genitals broke off in an explosion of semen just like yours did. He must've known that was enough to father Bobby. That's why he wants to pay Bobby's bills. He feels as guilty as you did! Oh, Bill, I've wanted to tell you for years but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. You've always loved me and been there for me, and been a far better husband than Brian could've ever been. It was a stupid mistake, a night I wish I could take back, but I can't change the past. Please don't hate me!"

"Brenda, Brenda, my darling, I could never hate you. You had your reasons. I can't say as I can pretend to understand them, but you were doing it to protect me and Bobby. Even though it will take a while to get over the shock, it doesn't make me love Bobby any less. Oh Brenda, you've saved my life. All this time I was hating Brian, I never knew he was also feeling a father's grief. I'm not a murderer."

"Thank God!"

"It's late, I had better get some rest. I think I'll take Bobby down to the park tomorrow. He may be in a wheelchair, but his throwing arm is still strong!"

"Oh Bill, that's the spirit. Let's go to bed."

*phone rings*

"That's strange, who could be phoning at this hour? Hello?....Why Burt, what are you doing calling this late?....What?!....When did this happen?....I can't believe it!....What did the police say?....Have they told Beth?.....My God.....That's terrible, Burt. Brenda and I will be over to see her first thing in
the morning.....Thanks for calling, I appreciate it.....Goodbye."

"Who was that?"

"That was Burt Spencer, a fellow I work with. He said that Brian was found murdered earlier tonight."

"No! Murder?! That's impossible!"

"The police think it was a drive-by stinging. Possibly a wasp. Poor Beth is beside herself with grief."

"That's horrible!"

"I can't believe it's true. Who would ever want to murder Brian?"

"Yes....who indeed...."

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