Saturday, January 17, 2015

Surge Protector

For those of you concerned about my armpits, bad news.  Old Spice has seemingly discontinued its long-running "Pacific Surge" deodorant line, which is only the scent I've been using for years and years.

This is unfortunate for due to my long-standing affinity for the west coast.  Seattle and San Francisco are arguably my two favourite American cities, and the hour I spent waiting for a connecting flight in the Vancouver airport was quite pleasant indeed.  "Portlandia" is hilarious.  It is a dream of mine to attend San Diego Comic-Con*.  I once won a game of Monopoly due to multiple opponents landing on my Pacific Avenue hotel.  Pearl Jam is from Seattle.  Needless to say, I have nothing but love for the west coast, and the love stretched all the way to my preferred scent.

* = possibly in a fully-functional Rocketeer outfit, but that's another story.

Frankly, I shouldn't be surprised by Old Spice's move.  Look at the name --- 'surge' implies only a temporary event.  It was Old Spice's hint that this beloved deodorant wouldn't last forever.  That said, I wish I had seen it coming so I could've pulled an Elaine Benes and driven around town collecting boxes of the stuff.  Then, every time I went out in public and was doing my ablutions, I would've had to consider if what I was doing that day was truly surge-worthy. 

So now my next move is to try out a new Old Spice product since what the hell, I might as well stick with brand loyalty and their commercials are delightfully batshit crazy.  My new scent?  ARCTIC FORCE.  I felt the capital letters were necessary since it sounds less like the name of a deodorant than it does the title of a cartoon about, I dunno, a team of highly-trained polar bears and moose that protect the Northwest Territories.  Plus, buying an arctic-related product feels a bit more patriotic, right?  This is why I sing the national anthem every time my armpits reek, which might also be construed as a comment on Stephen Harper. 

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