Out-Of-Context Texts In My Phone Inbox, Volume XVII

Sometimes I wonder why I bother with these little preambles. They're rarely entertaining or clever and I never put any thought and/or effort into writing them. I feel like the whole "here are texts from my phone" concept needs a bit of introduction and yet, the concept is pretty self-explanatory from the name of the post itself. Maybe next time I'll omit a preamble, or just write the whole thing in some incomprehensible font. When was the last time you read anything in Wingdings?


"The Russian. Everyone is booing."

"I am at a dinner and Sarah Polley is at my table. My feeling is that we'll be best friends."

"A microwave? And hey, there was some chemistry there."

"Cruz by a landslide, 50-45, 49-46, 48-47"

"lol, so awesome and horrible"

"Khaaaaaaaaan!"

"Ok, we're here. Wave your hands!"

"He does, you could beat him. He almost put the ref in a headlock"

"well, that blows. Afternoon or evening games?"

"Cruz vs. Jardine would be awkward as hell"

"Gonna have to miss it and PVR"

"We have some drunken Irish guys here that are yelling at the TV. Just called Conan's hat a pisspot. Classic."

"Put in a good word for me"

"Awesome, eh?"

"Haha, it's been a while since we have seen it with that much enthusiasm. Maybe since Shamrock."

"That is one weak fucking chin"

"Justin Bieber, Mike Goldberg, I want to see it"

"I am hoping the Leben-Silva fight is good. should be"

"Hey, I'm being paranoid. Can you check that the burners are off on the stove? ha ha I have to buy a new phone I can only text right now. Thanks!"

"You didn't pay for it, I hope"

"Has YOUR sister ever brought home a black guy?"

"I will be coming back from Kingston first so I will call from the car, yo"

"29-28 on all the cards"

"Salman Rushdie is also here. Weird, this seems like the setup to a good joke"

"Bill Clinton. Zing! That joke courtesy of 1998"

"My computer isn't here -- at the new place. I'll be trying on my iPad so we can stick with Google on this one."

"Not now. Maybe for Bader."

"That's good. Where are you watching it? We had power here but crazy people"

"Relaaaaaaaaaaaaaaax, buddy!"

"I work in Stratford now so me and the Beebs are tight"

"Want to meet at 4:30 instead for early dinner? I could use a nap too..."

"I was seeing retirement."

"Perfect!"

"Who the hell knows the way the judges scored Dennis' fight. Maybe 55-40 Faber. A new record."

"I think I left my wallet at home. Just wanted to double check it's not lost."

"With that upkick I was seeing a Steven Seagal montage."

"Tim Connolly? I've never even heard of him."

"I sat in the same chair as Selena Gomez so we are practically an item. Check TMZ"

"Decade is two minutes, right?"