Out-Of-Context Texts In My Phone Inbox, Volume IX

When I say that these texters will remain anonymous, do I really mean it? To ensure that I'm not full of shit, I time-traveled to the year 2070 and, sure enough, the identities of these texters is still a mystery. What isn't a mystery in 2070, however, is the Loch Ness Monster. He's real! RUN


"My man crush is stronger than ever."

"Well, I still think you should take a run at her."

"Your mom sent a postcard!!"

"Is this the lawyer chick?"

"We'll have to see something else then! Audition went well -- was filming for it this morning!"

"Hey! How was the Chaplin flick?"

"Sweeet! Thanks dood!"

"You're not making it easy to justify stealing his girl."

"No worries we r on our way back now."

"Play sounds good! What time meet for dinner? How much are tickets?"

"I need three fantasy points from Rodgers, Finley, Jennings here."

"Sorry to cancel now. Can we pls raincheck?! Again so sorry."

"U triviaing tonight?"

"Sure, np. Let me know when here and I'll come outside."

"Eastbound premiered on Sunday night."

"I have no idea for Rovers time, ha ha. Uh, sure?"

"Anyone want to hit the ballpark this aft? We can mess around, hit some balls then maybe BBQ at my place till we hit Rovers for UFC. COME ON"

"I'm in the back so I'll meet u out front when u arrive."

"There you go!"

"That could be one of several hundred girls."

"Sounds like a douche"

"Dude...fb post...who is this person that was distracted by work but liked hanging out? If it's a chick you need to get on that."

"But it makes sense!"

"Fuckin' kills me."

"Ok thanks Mark! Enjoy the film!"

"We've known for YEARS that he was amazing, and the US media didn't pay attention. Now all of a sudden he's a master ace, blah blah."

"Ah yea cool. C U next week."

"Hai is this still you? Have you gotteb tix yet? Can you please get an extra one?"

"Unbelievable, isn't it"

"Dude --- any interest in coming by for the UFC? Dave and his dudefriend are ordering it and I told them you like it."

"Know what I mean?"

"Do you have a fourth for tonight? Ryan and I are wondering."

"Sounds good! We can figure out where to eat from there."

"Avoid Yonge and King. Apparently there is a fire there."

"It's like getting a divorce from your wife because she won't have sex, then watching her get remarried and then a sex tape is released."