Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Dream Factz

So, you know my world-famous Amateur Dream Analysis posts? Get this, I actually got some feedback. I was sent a link to this blog entry from, who apparently blog about other things than how to fix and maintain MRI machines. Since their post consists of 15 "fascinating facts" about dreams, I figured I'd use them to further analyze my insane dreams.

1. Late-night snacks can cause nightmares. Huh, well, this might explain everything. I'm not sure I'd call most of my dreams 'nightmares,' per se, but if late-night eating can lead to wacky dreams, then guilty as charged. For instance, I was having some popcorn one night, and then dreamt that I was flying on a plane and saw Orville Redenbacher trying to sabotage the wing.

2. Dreams occur all the time, not just during REM sleep. Apparently we might dream at all times, but our conscious mind blurs it out during the day. Or, if you're crazy, then the dreams just seep through anyway. Oh, to envy the crazy!

3. Day dreams are real. Just by reading the definition, it seems like they're talking more about just idle imagination than actual dreams. Or they could be one and the same.

4. Smells affect your dreams. Come to think of it, I did sleep well that summer in East York when I lived by that bakery. And when I lived next to the pollution plant, I kept having these horrible nightmares about the Nightman. I mean, the upside was that I eventually became the Dayman, but still.

5. Blind people don't "see" in their dreams. Fascinating. So that smell thing would be even more overwhelming in this case.

6. The act of dreaming may be like watching a movie. Back in film class, we learned about how the language of film 'sutures' one into the narrative by teaching the audience that different camera angles mean different point-of-views, editing techniques creating perspective, etc. I wonder if this has become so ingrained within our minds that we simply apply it to every form of perception, even unconscious perception. Also, let's hope this fact applies more to the likes of Inception and not When Dreams May Come. That movie sucked.

7. When you wake up determines whether or not you'll remember your dreams. I buy this. It's like if LOST had ended after the fourth season. I would've driven myself crazy for years trying to figure out what was going on. But, since the series had an actual conclusion, it'll probably be ultimately less memorable over the years. I've already forgotten everything about the show. Who's this Jack everyone keeps talking about? Then again, I might've forgotten about Dreamz on Survivor had I not seen him breaking his promise to Yau Man at the end of the game. I think I'm missing the point of this fact.

8. Your dreaming ability matures by 5th grade. Like hell. When I was nine, I had the most vivid dream of my life, about being locked in a room with a panther. It was terrifying. Fortunately, it was a Carolina Panther and I was easily able to evade it to get into the end zone.

9. Dreams help depression. I would've guessed it would be the other way around. Like, you have a dream where you're successful, happy, rich, have superpowers, are the Dayman, etc. but then you wake up and realize you're still in your own depressed life. What an added bummer. That's your unconsciousness just kicking you when you're down.

10. Your vitals are similar to your waking self when you dream in the REM cycle. I have no real comment here, so instead I'll just rank my top five R.E.M. albums. 1. Monster, 2. Automatic For The People, 3. New Adventures In Hi-Fi, 4. Out Of Time, 5. Document. Come on, it's like I wouldn't make an REM/R.E.M. joke during a post about dreaming? I'm way too much of a hack to pass up that easy layup.

11. Night terrors affect you when you sleep and when you're awake. That's doubly insidious. You'd think the night terrors would at least stick to their designated time of day, or at least take on the generic 'terrors' label so people could be aware of them striking at any time. I love how I'm referring to night terrors like they're villains, or something. Hard to believe there isn't a supervillain called Night Terror, frankly. "Oh no, the Night Terror is trying to hypnotize people into committing crimes! This looks like a job for the Flash!" Flash, of course, being the king of generically-named enemies (Captain Cold, Captain Boomerang, Mirror Master, etc.)

12. iPads and other tech gadgets can make you have crazy dreams. The previous sentences also works if you omit the words 'have' and 'dreams.' Just ask Steve Ballmer. 100 years ago, did amateur dream analysts write the same things about electric lights? "Their bizarre glow will cause the devil to seep into your brain! Best stick to the tried-and-true gas lantern method! Are we suggesting that Thomas Edison is an agent of Satan? Yes."

13. Your body uses outside influences to keep you asleep. Just ask any poor kid who's ever gone to summer camp and gotten hit with the 'hand in warm water' trick.

14. You're more sexually aroused when you dream. Nuff said. Though, as I've detailed before, while beautiful women are often present in my dreams, they're usually there for some innocuous reason, not for some hardcore sex fantasy. Though, going back to point 7, maybe I would have eventually gotten down to business in this dream but woke up halfway through and thus didn't follow the dream through to its conclusion. Damn you, dreamus interruptus!

15. We forget 95-99% of our dreams. Hence the reason why I've only written about 10 dream analysis posts, as opposed to 759,402 of them. Unless I decide to turn this blog into nothing but documentation of my subconscious. I'll call it "R.E.M. Document" and then eventually get sued into the ground by Michael Stipe.

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