Bieber To The Future

Ahem. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

This is, needless to say, an abomination in the eyes of god and man. Kudos to my friend Chris for finding this link, which might be the most horrifying thing you'll see on the internet since 2 Girls 1 Cup. (Also kudos to Chris for his simple comment of, "I'm convinced this is what the guy in Radiohead's 'Just' video was silently mouthing" before providing the link.)

Two years ago, when I wrote my Nobel Prize-winning Back To The Future vs. Ghostbusters comparison, I noted that BTTF's casting was a major part of its success. Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd were so awesome for those roles that they made the entire series. Jokingly, I tossed out a what-if of a modern BTTF remake starring Shia LeBeouf as Marty --- plus Michael Richards as Doc --- and how much of an insta-fail that movie would be. This was the most absurd casting I could come up with in 2008, but man alive, at least LeBeouf is an actual actor. He might even be a good actor some day. But seriously, Justin Bieber. Daniel friggin' Day-Lewis could be cast as Doc and even then it would still be below the original Fox/Lloyd pairing. Bieber can sing all he wants (his music isn't aimed at my demographic, so whatever, more power to him) but dammit boy, stay away from beloved Hollywood classics.

Remaking as perfect a movie as BTTF is a bad idea anyway, so at least if this horrific project gets off the ground, I won't even have a glimmer of a reason to go see it. Now I'm worried that my Ghostbusters remake idea will also be co-opted except with the bloody Jonas brothers or something.

*sits back and waits for thousands of extra blog hits to come from mentioning Justin Bieber in a post*