Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Good, It's Over

I don't think I've ever blogged about this before (possibly over fear of being deported), but I never watch the World Junior Hockey Championships. The boycott has lasted several years, maybe closing in on a full decade now, and I have no plans to let up in the near future.

Why do I do this? It's not because of the quality of play, or a dislike of junior hockey, or because John Tavares murdered my dog. It is solely because TSN's obnoxious coverage. TSN treats the WJC like it's bigger than the World Series, Super Bowl, Stanley Cup finals, NBA finals, Wimbledon, Indy 500, Daytona 500, Olympics, PGA Championship, Wrestlemania, Christmas, Hanukah, Canada Day and your first handjob combined. Now, obviously, TSN is going to promote a sporting event that it's airing, but my god, get some perspective, people. My beloved Sportscentre has been drowned under 20-25 minutes of WJC coverage for the past month. I know more about Tavares than I do about my own brother. If I hear Pierre Maguire say the word 'monster' one more time, I'm going to have a seizure; the prior sentence also works without the words "say the word 'monster.' "

I'm glad Canada won in a general patriotic sense, but I will spend exactly zero minutes thinking about this tournament until next December when NBA, NHL and NFL highlights, Holly Horton's general competence* and Jay Onrait and Dan O'Toole's comedy hijinks start disappearing from my morning routine in order to devote more time to discussing Jordan Eberle's bowel movements.

* = another unpopular opinion: am I crazy, or am I the only one that finds Holly Horton more attractive than Jennifer Hedger? Hedger's jaw just sits there like a white elephant and I'm NOT supposed to be distracted by it?

4 comments:

Hal Incandenza said...

Great poll question: the greatest war mini-series in history (BoB) vs. its "modern" day successor.

Admittedly, I know zero about hockey, but it struck me that the tourney was over the second Eberle scored the tying goal against the Russians. No way do we lose after that.

The R.O.B. said...

I'm def. not a hockey guy either and certainly agree the coverage is WAY overthetop. But, I LOVE seeing people play sports who care and after seeing the kids celebrate like it was D-Day its pretty apparent that they care.

What I don't get is why everyone is SO into this... is it because we're really good or just because people have nothing to do over the holidays and don't want to talk to their families?

Jesse said...

1) Timing
2) We see the amateurs as being pure as driven snow, unlike scumbag pro-athletes
3) Small town Canada cares about Junior Hockey, and knows some of these players (Tavares is a London Knight now!)
4) We usually win, which is fun, but it's less frustrating when we do lose (unlike with the Olympics or World Championships, in which those bastards had better win)
5) Pat Quinn

Joe said...

Hedger made out with a girl on TV once.

I'll vote for Holly Horton.