Watching The Golf Channel

So Vijay Singh stars in this commercial for a PGA Tour charity. He's surrounded by a bunch of kids who call him 'the big Fijian.' The problem is, with their young voices, it sounds like they're calling him the Big Vagine. Veh-ry nii-ce! I like you!

People talk about the void in Green Bay now that Brett Favre is gone. That will be the entire world of professional golf when Tiger Woods retires or moves on to the senior tour. That's the problem with having a singular entity who dominates the sport --- when he goes, the sport has a hard time catching up in terms of filling viewers' interests. You already see what happens to TV ratings in tournaments that Tiger isn't competing in. It's like what happened to cycling after Lance Armstrong stopped entering the Tour de France.

Billy Mayfair has looked like he's in his mid-fifties since he was 27. Now that he's in his forties, he looks 70. I can't decide which reference is more appropriate --- he either looks like the grail-defending knight in Last Crusade, or he looks like Walter Donovan after he drinks from the false grail except slowed down over the span of a decade.

Nick Faldo never finishes his sentences. He's like John Ritter's character in Noises Off.* He gets going on a point and he entertainingly rambles on until the next shot is hit, and then he just trails off. Faldo finishes his thoughts as well as Phil Mickelson finishes U.S. Opens.

* = this may be the most obscure reference I've ever made on this blog, and that's saying something. That movie kicked ass. Julie Hagerty and Christopher Reeve gave arguably career-best performances.