Wednesday, February 27, 2013

The CFL Oscars

It's been a very Academy Award-heavy month here on the ol' blog, so what better way to conclude February by looking at how the Oscars relate to the Canadian Football League.  Boy, is this comparison overdue!  Just look at the nine films nominated this year for Best Picture….

1. Argo = The Argos, duh

2. Life Of Pi = The Ti-Cats, duh

3. Beasts of the Southern Wild = The Stampeders, since those beasts did a lot of stampeding.  Also, if there's any city in Canada that believes it is/wishes it was located in the southern USA, it's Calgary.

4. Silver Linings Playbook = The Eskimos, as both concern themselves with people way too obsessed over a green-clad football team.

5. Lincoln = The Lions, because you can't spell "Lincoln" without "Lion."  And because Daniel Day-Lewis would be perfect for the lead in a Lui Passaglia biopic.  Man, I'm running out of steam on these.

6. Django Unchained = The Roughriders because…uh…they were on horseback….and I'm sure it was a rough ride through that southern terrain.  Yep, definitely running out of steam.  How about the fact that Christoph Waltz was once on an episode of Corner Gas?*

7. Zero Dark Thirty = The Blue Bombers, because a) warfare! b) watching the Blue Bombers is often akin to torture.  You know, Kyle Chandler was in ZDT, couldn't we get a bonus season of Friday Night Lights where Coach Taylor gets a job running the Blue Bombers and moves to Winnipeg?

8. Amour = The Alouettes, both because of the francophone connection and because Emmanuelle Riva is the same age as Anthony Calvillo.

9. Les Miserables = The upcoming expansion team in Ottawa.  The old Rough Riders wore red and black uniforms and there's literally a song called "Red and Black" in Les Mis.  Plus, let's be honest, the last 35 years has been pretty miserable if you're an Ottawa CFL fan.

* = this isn't true, but it'd be a lot cooler if it was.  #Wooderson

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