Thursday, June 23, 2011

Random Nonsense



Courtesy of my friend Ian.....

"It's amazing that Austin Powers was a major, multi-million dollar film franchise that was released within the last 15 years, but the only enduring reference from those movies is when you're trying to maneuver your car out of a tight spot. If you say 'Shagadelic, baby!', people will laugh at you for being dated as hell, but if you're trying to parallel park and you say, 'Oh, I'm going to have to try an Austin Powers move here,' people instantly know what you're talking about and laugh at the reference."

Very true. As the owner of a small car, I've made this joke myself a few times. The weird thing is, I'm almost certain I've seen the "guy tries to maneuver a tiny vehicle out of a tiny space' joke before but I'm blanking on where exactly that was. I know, Mike Myers rip something off? The thought seems preposterous.....

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Yeah, that's right, made the joke 'a few times.' I'm not above reusing material around different people. My tiny mind only has space for so much creativity, people. (And, by creativity, I mean citing a reference from a 14-year-old movie, but still.)

One major setback to this practice, however, is Facebook's latest tweak of threaded messaging. Rather than several different sets of messages you sent to one person, now they're all threaded together in one long message so you can look back at your entire history of correspondence with the person, dating back sometimes years. This is all well and good and convenient, except for the fact that for chronic joke-reusers like myself, my lack of originality is revealed for all the world to see. I'm going to actually come up with a fresh joke rather than re-using a pun from 2008 and hoping the other person has forgotten it. Dammit.

Another odd note about this: I seem to have a habit of starting messages by writing the person's name and punctuating it with an exclamation point, i.e. "Joe Smith!" or "Jane Jones!" I'm wondering if I sent an e-mail to Michael Schur at some point in the last few years and thus indirectly became the inspiration for Rob Lowe's character on Parks & Recreation.

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My friend Ryan works for Google and thus by default is my favourite Google employee. But besides him, my favourite Google employees are the folks who come up with the modified event-specific logos. You can peruse the entire collection at this link, which showcases logos from both the North American Google page and all around the world. Personal favourites: the recent guitar-string logo celebrating Les Paul's birthday or the short film on April 16 for Charlie Chaplin's birthday.

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Well, this damned, U2 album-postponing Spider-Man musical has finally officially opened. Whoopee. The only upside is that it led to Sesame Street producing this spoof, and if even Grover is scoring points off you, it's probably a sign that your play is a piece of crap. I'm just wondering why the Sesame Streetified Bono is a giant orange monster. I also wonder why the blue bald guy hasn't had a nervous breakdown for all the nonsense Grover has subjected him to over the years. The guy only wanted some soup that didn't have insects floating in it, is that so much to ask?



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Rory McIlroy's win at the US Open was awesome and everything, but come on. After his victory, Yahoo Sports has a poll up asking how many majors McIlroy would end up winning his career, and 51 percent of respondents said he'd win seven or more majors. Seven or more! To recap, the only men in golf history who have cracked the seven-major plateau are Nicklaus, Woods, Hagen, Player, Hogan, Watson, Palmer, Snead, Sarazen, Jones and Vardon. So after just one win, people already think McIlroy is up there with these guys?

I know the golf world is dying for a new headline star to replace Tiger Woods, but this is a bit ridiculous. Since McIlroy is just 22, people presume he has time to do things like make a run at Jack Nicklaus' record just like Tiger did, except....Tiger is a once-in-a-generation star. The odds we see another singularly dominant force like Tiger in the world of golf is quite rare, especially with the game's international scope being as wide as it is today. There's no reason McIlroy can't become the new face of pro golf, but let's not be beating up on the guy in a few years if he has *only* this one US Open to his name.

That said, anyone who doesn't pick McIlroy in their fantasy golf leagues for the Open Championship is nuts. Doesn't EVERYONE play in a fantasy golf league? It's so cool! I know I certainly don't weep with shame whenever I log into the page.

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