Out-Of-Context Texts In My Phone Inbox, Vol. 2

As usual, those who sent me these messages will remain anonymous.


"My lord. That was embarrassing for Forrest. What a scrub."

"Woooo! Just walked into a parking sign!"

"I'm there now on the patio and relaxing and looking over the menu. No worries."

"Cool. We're about two hours from being done, then drunk-up!"

"Good mang --- what you up to today?"

"How's the weekend, Whiskers?"

"De Rosario and Gerba = Jesus! But fuck, FC's D is garbage."

"Ouch...sorry."

"You working today, you sonofabitch?"

"I got sorta torn up last night...As in heavily wounded during relations."

"My dog lives!"

"Hey Norm! Hey!"

"Peter Zezel is dead! Oh, the humanity!"

"I need a heroic/cinematic death."

"Keep your phone on this time, brother. But life's good? Don't worry, the Americans didn't give me too much shit."

"You non-message returning mothafucka...how are things?"

"Topes lose!"

"Game over, says Raul Julia. See you at Shoeless."

"Andim drunk."

"But you're part of my5 -- aren't you supposed to be at my beck and call?"

"So I just did [name of woman withheld]"

"You fucked me, mang. You fucked me bad. How come you didn't start Weaver? Oh, and Happy Easter."

"Good to see you last night, buddy. Hope the drive home was quick and easy....like [name withheld]. Too soon?"