Out-Of-Context Texts In My Phone Inbox

"Msg me when u get 2 London. Were u able 2 arrange the cow?"


"I was going to be Rockets the candy [for Halloween], but it requires effort."


"Yahoo box score attendance tonight?"


"I'm so sorry Mark, I left London @4, thought I had a ton of time"
"Mark, where is gate 10?"

(Ok, this one requires a bit of context just because almost a year later, I still can't wrap my head around it. My pal Jeff thought he could leave London at 4 PM on a Friday and be in Toronto by 6:30. C'est impossible! Then, to top it all off, Jeff asks me where Gate 10 at the Rogers Centre is, in spite of that fact that Jeff has been to the RC dozens of times in his life. I feel like I can take these shots at Jeff this week since he and his wife had a kid this week, so he's still on too much of a high to be affected by my petty barbs. Congrats to Jeff, and let's just hope he planned his route to the hospital better than he planned his route to Toronto.)


"Woooo"


"Even u fight better than Bisping"


"Fuck you all AND the horse (bus) you rode in on."


"I am about to begin the life-altering experience that is Ghost Rider. 'I'm the only one that can walk in both worlds.' Wish me luck!"


"Crisis -- Luis Terrero now plays for the Charlotte Knights. Mah gawd!"


"Some fan was so pissed over an interception he threw his jersey down in the stands. I heart this game."


"Hurk is the devil!"


"I've never even really met her. I just like her supposed sexual frankness."


"Watch out Mark, Lilly's on a spree! Protect your nose!"