This article led to my friend Meryl and I creating a movie based on the premise. The film will star…
* The Rock as the Ultra Penguin, the benevolent ruler of the giant penguin kingdom.
* Kevin Hart plays a tall modern-day penguin who somehow time-travels back to the age of the giant penguins and is dismayed to learn that he's suddenly very short by comparison.
* Judi Dench as the Empress Penguin, the Rock’s mother.
* Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero play villainous penguins who are scheming to overthrow the Rock's character. (Technically, Tommy's character is the villain, Greg's character is just going along to make sure Tommy doesn't mess up too badly.)
* Greta Gerwig has an undefined role. We really just want her involved with the project in any capacity, we’ll figure out her character later.
* Morgan Freeman as the narrator, naturally.
The film is, naturally, live-action with everyone wearing the cheapest-looking penguin costumes imaginable.
Our choices for director are either Gerwig, Ron Howard, the Wachowskis or (if things get desperate) Wiseau. The Wachowskis are probably the best fit for the material, given that this premise is no more or less wacky than any of their other films.
Your move, Star Wars franchise.