1. Slip out the back, Jack
2. Make a new plan, Stan
3. Hop on the bus, Gus
4. Drop off the key, Lee
5. Train
6. Pogo stick
7. Jump out a window
8. Dirigible
9. Learn the guitar chords to "Babe I'm Gonna Leave You," perform the song in front of your lover, leave
10. Your death
11. Their death
12. Faking your death
13. Faking their death….wait a second, that makes no sense
Real 13. Saying you have to go to Yemen, like Chandler in that one episode of "Friends"
14. Throwing a smoke grenade to mask your departure, then running away
15. Addendum to #14, yell “it’s the rapture!” and then throw the smoke grenade and run away (better alibi)
16. Car
17. Bicycle
18. Motorcycle
19. Inter-dimensional wormhole
20. Actual wormhole, if you can fit
21. Dogsled
22. A flying luckdragon, like in The Neverending Story
23. Dragon
24. Golf cart
25. Getting “I think we should see other people” tattooed across your chest
26. Kayak
27. Joining the Peace Corps, a la Tom Hanks in the movie "Volunteers"
28. Going off to shoot the movie "Volunteers," meeting Rita Wilson and subsequently ending your first marriage, a la Tom Hanks.
29. Canoe
30. Swimming
31. Walking
32. A brisk jog
33. Running
34. Luge
35. Hot air balloon
36. Inflating a bunch of balloons to make your house float away, like the old man in “Up.” (His wife used method #11)
37. Plane
38. Helicopter
39. Tank
40. Garbage truck
41. Announce you’re going out for cigarettes, then hope you reach the door before your partner finishes saying “wait, but you don’t smoke…”
42. Spacecraft
43. Big Wheels
44. An open and honest conversation about the relationship's problems and how it might be better for all parties if you both just called it quits
45. Jetpack
46. Subtly leaving seven “what to do if you have herpes” pamphlets around the apartment
47. Sailboat
48. Submarine
49. Skateboard
50. Using any of the previous 49 choices, returning and saying, "Ha ha, just kidding, sweetie!" and then one of the other 48 remaining choices.
2. Make a new plan, Stan
3. Hop on the bus, Gus
4. Drop off the key, Lee
5. Train
6. Pogo stick
7. Jump out a window
8. Dirigible
9. Learn the guitar chords to "Babe I'm Gonna Leave You," perform the song in front of your lover, leave
10. Your death
11. Their death
12. Faking your death
13. Faking their death….wait a second, that makes no sense
Real 13. Saying you have to go to Yemen, like Chandler in that one episode of "Friends"
14. Throwing a smoke grenade to mask your departure, then running away
15. Addendum to #14, yell “it’s the rapture!” and then throw the smoke grenade and run away (better alibi)
16. Car
17. Bicycle
18. Motorcycle
19. Inter-dimensional wormhole
20. Actual wormhole, if you can fit
21. Dogsled
22. A flying luckdragon, like in The Neverending Story
23. Dragon
24. Golf cart
25. Getting “I think we should see other people” tattooed across your chest
26. Kayak
27. Joining the Peace Corps, a la Tom Hanks in the movie "Volunteers"
28. Going off to shoot the movie "Volunteers," meeting Rita Wilson and subsequently ending your first marriage, a la Tom Hanks.
29. Canoe
30. Swimming
31. Walking
32. A brisk jog
33. Running
34. Luge
35. Hot air balloon
36. Inflating a bunch of balloons to make your house float away, like the old man in “Up.” (His wife used method #11)
37. Plane
38. Helicopter
39. Tank
40. Garbage truck
41. Announce you’re going out for cigarettes, then hope you reach the door before your partner finishes saying “wait, but you don’t smoke…”
42. Spacecraft
43. Big Wheels
44. An open and honest conversation about the relationship's problems and how it might be better for all parties if you both just called it quits
45. Jetpack
46. Subtly leaving seven “what to do if you have herpes” pamphlets around the apartment
47. Sailboat
48. Submarine
49. Skateboard
50. Using any of the previous 49 choices, returning and saying, "Ha ha, just kidding, sweetie!" and then one of the other 48 remaining choices.
No comments:
Post a Comment