Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Random Nonsense

So, did the store just rip Nena off on that 99th luftballon?


You know you're living next to a crazy cat lady when you see her calling in three separate animals from her front porch, and you politely ask how many cats she actually has, and the answer is, "Four.  I'm allowed to have seven but I only have four."  As in, the page on the city's website that lists this ordinance is ABSOLUTELY bookmarked on her computer.

Then again, can she really be handed 'Crazy Cat Lady' status while still staying well below the legal limit?  Four cats is a lot, clearly, yet it's still just over half the maximum.  A true CCL would have seven registered cats, at least four more strays unofficially hanging out in her back shed and maybe with the word 'CAT' straight-up tattooed on her back.  My neighbour is keeping it relatively mild.


Ever get so flustered you combine two insults?  I was cut off in traffic the other way and angrily referred to the other driver as "diphead."  That's a very kindergarten insult for a grown man to use.  Then again, the alternative was calling him a "dickshit," which sounds really horrid.


So, my Maple Leafs embargo is over, and as you might've predicted, it was short-lived.  My reason for the embargo (I cannot support a team that is actively being ignorant about their sport) has been somewhat answered in the form of Kyle Dubas' hiring as the new assistant GM.  Actually, it might not even be the fact that the Leafs brought a young, seemingly stats-oriented AGM aboard as much as it was that they fired stunningly incompetent former AGMs Claude Loiselle and Dave Poulin. 

Now, while Loiselle/Poulin were two of the chief impediments in the Leafs front office, that still leaves Dave Nonis in charge, though I'm still willing to give him a chance.  Maybe he was just getting bad advice.  Maybe Dubas is like Andy Travis on WKRP and Nonis is actually like Arthur Carlson, a well-meaning but bumbling boss who is happy to let someone just take the reigns from him.  Extending this analogy to its logical end, the Leafs should make Nonis' secretary the team president and the team should DEFINITELY CANCEL any Thanksgiving Day promotions if may have in mind.


It's weird that "it's all downhill from here" and "it's an uphill climb" are both negatives.  When something is going really well for me from now on, I'm going to describe it as "yep, old Mark is just sitting halfway up the hill."


For Deadwood fans, it's a sobering moment when you realize that Al Swearengen basically looks exactly like Wario.  Man, was that entire show just a thinly-veiled MarioKart allegory?  Seth is Luigi (taller, moustached, also often shoots a death glare at people), Alma is Princess Peach, Sol is Toad, E.B. Farnum is Koopa Troopa, Dan Dority is Donkey Kong, Cy Tolliver is Bowser, Doctor Cochran is….uh, Yoshi?  The show lacked a Mario, which perhaps was a sign of the lack of the moral compass in the 1870's frontier world.  I may be stretching it here.


Robin Williams was such a huge part of comedy and pop culture over the last 40 years that it's hard to not feel affected by his death in some way.  Re-listening to his 2010 appearance on the Marc Maron's WTF podcast, Williams actually discusses the topic of suicide and seems completely dismissive of it, which is awfully sobering in hindsight.  (Even more darkly, this discussion is actually kind of hilarious with Williams portraying his conscience as a golf announcer.) 

In the aftermath of his death, there were so many stories of Williams' generosity and how he would appear at hospitals unannounced to entertain patients, or he'd tirelessly visit friends in need to cheer them up when they were facing physical woes, most notably Christopher Reeve.  I can't help but regret the fact that Williams, the designated cheerer-upper, perhaps didn't have anyone to lift him back up when he was at his lowest, though obviously I'm just speculating as a broken-hearted fan here.  He was a truly gifted talent and he'll be missed. 

No comments: