Thursday, November 10, 2016

Charlie Brown Is A Creep

I've always had an affinity for Charlie Brown, even to the point of dressing as CB for Halloween on more than one occasion. It's hard not to relate to the poor guy, whether you're prematurely bald (check) or just feel like life has got you down from time to time. Of course, for most of us, the key is "from time to time," whereas Charlie Brown's life was an unending cavalcade of failure. To wit, this video. Watching it, your attitude goes from "Poor Charlie Brown! I know how he feels!" to "Poor Charlie Brown! Man, things aren't going my way right now, but at least I have it better than that sad sack. God, people are actually dancing around him in a circle, pointing and laughing! What a loser!" The video also continues to make the case that the choral version of "Creep" is the greatest song cover of all time.

Two notes. First, the little red-haired girl actually signs her notes as "Little Red-Haired Girl"? WTF? I just presumed that was Charlie Brown's only reference point since he was too much of a putz to even ask her name, but if LRHG is even referring to herself by that nickname…I dunno, is this a Badly Drawn Boy situation? Is LRHG a stage name? Is she trying to create her own specific persona in grade school, sort of like how I've been trying to get people to call me 'Mark the Shark' for at least 20 years?

Secondly, good lord, how deranged does Charlie Brown look when he's approaching that football? He's got the crazy eyes! I'm starting to think ol' Chuck has a future on an NFL special teams squad. He can play for the Cleveland BROWNS. (rimshot)

Also, just so that video doesn't leave you totally heartbroken on Charlie Brown's behalf, here's the edition of the Peanuts strip where he actually got to be the hero for his baseball team. This was widely regarded as the greatest act in house league baseball history until my equally-heroic "faked getting hit by a pitch" routine in 2001.

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