Out-Of-Context Texts In My Phone Inbox, Volume XV

Once the machines take over and most of the written word is obliterated, it's possible that the space travelers who happen upon Earth millennia in the future will find every remaining artifact of the human language to be out of context. If so, I'd like to think these posts will be judged the MOST out of context of anything.


"I don't understand"

"FUCK YEAH! Did you score that? If so, can I have....I dunno....your notes? Hot dog wrapper?"

"Hahaha! Awesome, thanks. D and me were discussing haircuts and baldness came up."

"Any luck getting D et al to come out for a drink?"

"I am returning to Ontario for 9 days. I'll arrive Friday night."

"K me too. See you there!"

"7 minute abs! Hahaha I'm laughing out loud right now. What movie is that from again?"

"I'm en route, but don't feel compelled to wait around for me."

"Everything good with the internet setup?"

"Ok I'll text you!"

"Best. Rapture. Ever. Who's up for some fun tonight?"

"[Mass Syndicate Message]: Is everyone ok w/ meeting at Ossington by 7 PM?"

"I can't do it. Am Worky McScrewed. I regret the lack of THOR"

"Don't tell me what to do! Is Goy there yet?"

"I think he's in too, but won't be there until 1030. I'll be there about 730."

"Snakes n lattes tonight at 9. So far it's three of us, maybe 5, open invites to any friends of friends."

"Ived this text"

"You in tonight? Jen are I are -- just email confirming"

"Blerg, not sure if I can make it but will let you know closer to 9"

"Yeah, very shortly. Fuck you all, then."

"Hey man, baldness question: how often do you shave your head?"

"I'm sorry, but I'm super tired and wouldn't be much company at Thor. But have a thundering good time :)"

"What's the plan? You in?"

"Ah! Maybe!"

"Hey hey, I'm at the Sheaf with a few Globies, so stop by anytime"

"Sarah and Ryan are goin @6:30 for pho at Golden Turtle if anyone fancies Vietnamese cuisine/women."

"Not Souter!"

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"