Out-Of-Context Texts In My Phone Inbox, Volume XII

Just a mammoth edition of the OOCT, mammoth. Guys have a habit of texting each other during major sporting events, and given that my team went on a Super Bowl run (*gleeful self high-five*), there was no shortage of football to text about.

As always, the identities of the texters will not be revealed. Not revealed by me, at least. If the universe re-arranges star clusters to spell out the names of the anonymous texters, that's not my problem. How could I possibly be expected to control that?


"Since all my teams stink, I've decided to live my life vicariously through you. No pressure."

"Most cowardly!"

"Mike Tomlin looks like a black Dave Lee. Agree or disagree?"

"Sloppy play! I agree with your tweet completely. Has Lovie gone insane? What happened with Cutler?"

"Okee! I'm still at work!"

"How about a movie tom?"

"Perfect! I'm free any day but Wed! lol you must be sooo happy right now with the Packers beating the Bears!"

"Well done! Sarah and I will see you between 6:30 and 7 pm"

"GROAN"

"Bonehead play!"

"Maybe they were tipping guys who would be able to make the game. ZING!"

"Atta boy, I'm happy for you."

"Oooof.....weak in memoriam class. (Yay?)"

"Thank Christ, you can exhale."

"Hey buddy, I don't think I'm going to make it to UFC tonight. Just going to lay low at home. Enjoy!"

"Man City, top of the table, baby!"

"Could they have missed more opportunities in this game?"

"As pleased as I was that Murray won the pro am, was it not intensely bizarre that he putted LAST on 18? D.A. had won the fucking ACTUAL tournament!"

"Yo! What's your plan for ton?"

"Shazam! Ryan and I will be there in 20 minutes or so."

"Congrats buddy. Happy for you."

"Knew they had it the whole way! (Liar voice)"

"I wanted to let you know I just messaged [name redacted] on FB and asked him on a date!"

"Good luck"

"Well now, this is going to be very interesting, as we'll be tied for the trophy going into the SB."

"Yay me!"

"We had bailouts, not enough to order fight."

"What's that like?"

"So you better be there! Ha ha I'm not getting stood up! lol"

"That pick also locked up my NFL confidence pool title! Only two of eight picked GB (me: for 16 points)"

"Sorry for the wait."

"Just finishing class, I'll be there in 15"

"Who b-day is it tom?"

"lol, oh sorry! I have a bday party! I'll hang another time for sure! :) "

"Ok, I PVRing the second half, so no spoilers please. Good luck!"

"How're you feeling about this game? Are you going to take credit -- a la Simmons -- for being right regardless of who wins?"

"Good grief."

"Oh, I agree completely. Just seems like this is always Baltimore's lament (see also: their near-upset of the then-undefeated '07 Pats)."

"At least he missed the tackle."

"Why so conservative here?"

"Come. Fucking. On."

"Still not sure what my favourite pic of the year is. As much as I loved TSN and Inception, I felt like I wanted a little bit more from both of them."

"Hey, you up for anything tonight?"

"Hi Mark! It's [name redacted]. I'm sorry but someone has put money down on the place so it's no longer available. Take care and sorry for the short notice."

"What's the work on tonight, bud?"

"I made out with [name redacted]!"

"Zaniest rule in football."

"If TSN had a better (or less abrupt) ending or if Inception had fewer slo-mo shots of the truck falling (which I find too amusing to take seriously) they'd be it."

"So how was your lunch date?"

"Hope appt hunting is going well. I got to the lecture on time and even checked in innocently with my supervisor. B-) Hit the grocery store and am home."

"Promising start!"

"What was Brees' QB rating?"

"Helluva play"

"Watched 127 Hours last night --- really enjoyed it. Going to watch Animal Kingdom and the Fighter today."

"Enjoying?"

"I went back and forth on the early game about 40 times then switched 30 minutes before kickoff, then was furious, then was elated."

"Let's go early, meet you there 15 early"

"That's fucking bush league. He should be tossed."

"This colour commentator is absolutely horrific."

"Hilarious playcalling here...and the clock stopped. Not that Buck bothered to mention that."

"Heyyy come to Thornys!"

"Too late to cover, unfortunately."

"TS3 good call. Though I actually thought it dragged a little (see minute ten of Woody trying to convince the gang to leave the daycare)."

"Lord."

"It was delicious as usual. Where did you guys go?"

"Fuck. Yeah."

"GB's punter is easily their MVP."

"lol, classic TSN. Will the title game even be in the first three segments??"

"Is it really true that Amazing Race has never been in HD?"

"I kind of liked the last 20 but, like, was that supposed to be a twist? Also, I think Vincent Cassel is fucking awesome."

"Will do"

"Ohhh, right. Is he (like I'm sure Harbaugh is) blaming the refs?"

"Oh sorry, that was meant for Taylor (thought it was)..."

"Wow, big swing."

"It was great having you by again, roomie! Have a safe drive back, but remember you are welcome to check in here if you are beat!"

"Vick, Ryan (?) who else? Brees had 20+ picks"

"Weird. Terrible coverage by FOX."

"So what's your confidence right now? 3 out of 10? Minus 2?"

"You know what? Stop fucking blitzing!"

"Rodgers DIDN'T MAKE THE PRO BOWL? The fuck?? Even with the missed time, that's crazy."

"Working tonight?"

"Hey! How was the fight? Let's hit up a movie this week!"

"My mom is coming in the AM"

"Hey, you still in for tonight?"

"Watched King's Speech last night (great) and Rabbit Hole (meh)"

"I'm going to Rouge, you?"

"Ahahahaha....Leafs highlights....for a game that isn't even over!"

"Lions representing!"

"I was just thinking: obviously the Lions would have made the playoffs if they weren't PLAYING IN THE BEST DIVISION IN FOOTBALL"

"How was your night, cuz?"

"Have you seen Black Swan yet? We caught it a couple of nights ago. I liked it....but it doesn't seem quite deserving of all the hype."

"Cutler?? Hardly"

"Ah"

"Total Bmore bed shit."

"Ooh, how is it?? That sounds perfect. how mad are you on a scale from 1 to 10? Ha ha! We are going to the New Yorker"

"Hey man, odd question, do you still have the snow pants from the infamous skiing trip?"

"HOLY FUCK"