Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Random Nonsense

I'm a week late to the party on this one, but if you happen to have not seen it in a million other places on the internet, here's Christopher Walken reciting the lyrics to 'Poker Face.' It. Is. Glorious.

Man, I'm usually on top of web memes like this one. Oh well....stay tuned for when I post videos of the Jingle Cats and Susan Boyle.


FInally listened to Kanye West's "Graduation" recently and the only problem with the record (if you can call it a real problem) is that the samples are so catchy they overwhelm Kanye's raps. Now, again, much like the guy in the PlayStation commercials with the hot girlfriend that thinks his game is a movie....this one goes into the 'not an issue' file. Obviously Kanye chose these samples because they were so catchy in the first place, but it's just strange after listening to a hip-hop record that I was really jonesing for some Daft Punk and Steely Dan.

Anyway, good album overall. This is probably the best group of singles that Kanye has gathered together on one disc, and of the other album tracks, 'The Glory' is a very nice underrated number. It's always nice to remember that Kanye West is actually a tremendously talented musician, as opposed to just some douchebag interrupter at awards show. Not to be confused with THE Interrupter.


We're getting closer and closer to the naming of the Canadian hockey team for the Olympics, so we're almost free of the comical sight of Steve Yzerman visiting various NHL arenas "scouting" the Team Canada prospects. Honestly, I think Stevie Y is just doing this for free meals in the press box --- he already has the entire scouting resources of the Detroit Red Wings at his disposal and, besides, it's not like he's trying to find any hidden gems here. He's basically picking the cream of nation's crop. Yzerman was at a Leafs-Lightning game last week allegedly "scouting" Vincent Lecavalier, and when Vinny opened the scoring, everyone was all "Oh, that's a big goal for Lecavalier, he really impressed Yzerman on that one." Yeah, I'm sure that goal against the friggin' Maple Leafs is what really convinced Yzerman that Lecavalier was a good hockey player. The 300 career goals and the Stanley Cup were nice, but putting one past Monster Gustavsson, that's the real breaking point.


I've already blogged about the bad-ass promotional poster for LOST's final season, but now here's an added detail. As reported at DarkUFO (arguably the top LOST blog around), someone at Popular Mechanics had the hieroglyphics inside the 'The Final Season' header translated by an expert. Apparently they mean 'Who Is The Guide?' or 'Who Is The Leader?' Interesting. I'm going to go out on a limb can say that the answer to neither question is Boone....though, wait, I guess he did guide Locke during that weird hallucinogenic dream where Locke was pushed shirtless through the Sydney Airport. So basically, my prediction is that Ian Somerhalder will show up in the finale and be revealed as the mastermind villain behind the entire series. What a twist! [/Robot Chicken's M. Night Shyamalan]


My roommate: "Hey, if the Blue Jays were in the World Series, would they still sing 'God Bless America' if they played games in Toronto?"
Me: "No way. We already have the 'OK Blue Jays' song."
MR: "That's true. That would be awesome. 'God Bless America' is all solemn and everything, and then up here it's just a lot of enthusiastic clapping and weak aerobics."
Me: "I guess it's a moot point since the Jays won't make the World Series again in our lifetimes."
MR: "True."

Then we both wept for 20 minutes.


And, since self-deprecation has been part of this blog since day one, I'll leave on one of my most idiotic moments. Back in high school, I had a friend named Beth (note: not a real name) who, to be honest, I didn't find very physically attractive. Sweet girl, nice as anything, but she just didn't do anything for me looks-wise. It was no problem, she didn't have a thing for me either, so it just a nice, healthy, platonic friendship.

One night, we were talking on Messenger about some dating issues Beth was having. She was a bit down on herself and her looks, so I decided to cheer her up by saying "C'mon, sure you're good-looking! You're at least a six!" As in, a six out of ten. Now, since I didn't find her physically attractive anyway, I thought in my stupid, stupid mind that I was being generous. Mistake.

The next day I related this story to a mutual friend, who almost slapped me upside the head for being such a moron. In my defense, this was almost 10 years ago, when I was but a young and foolish lad who had about as much tact as a drunken Republican. The moral of the story is, never volunteer a number grade about a person's physical appearance unless they're a perfect ten, in which case go ahead and say it since they couldn't possibly be mad about that and good lord, you actually know a perfect ten? Well done!

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