Hellboy and Golf

Hellboy II was the perfect appetizer for the upcoming Dark Knight. It had some good action, a few laughs, and was overall a fine entry into the realm of comic book films. I would happily slot it into the 'pretty good' category of the greatest comic movies ever made.

The film continued my fascination with Doug Jones, who has got to have the most unique career of any working actor. Jones has become Hollywood's go-to guy for playing characters under layers of makeup and latex. He's probably best known for playing the Faun in Pan's Labyrinth or (if you're a fan of crappy movies) the Silver Surfer in the last Fantastic Four movie. He also provided the body of Abe in the first Hellboy movie, though the character was voiced by David Hyde Pierce. Jones does Abe's voice himself in this one and....basically just does an impression of David Hyde Pierce. Also amusing was the fact that Johann Krauss, the German spirit man, is voiced by Family Guy's Seth Macfarlane, who is doing the same voice he used for Hitler in the "Peter is Hitler's brother" routine.

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Oh, and speaking of Dark Knight, take a look at Dark Knight as written by Michael Bay. Though I was confused by the idea that wearing glasses doesn't automatically mean someone is smart. Does this mean I should stop wearing my thick lenses at the library to try and pick up women? I don't get it. Drew Carey gets plenty of action, right?

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I've made major championship predictions in the past listing several guys, but really, the choice in the last decade has boiled down Picking Tiger or Picking Someone Else. This British Open is great because that choice is off the table. I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the wide open...er, Open without carrying any rooting interests beyond the guys on my fantasy team. Yes, that's right, I play fantasy golf. And he's single, ladies!

Instead of predictions, I'm going to list the guys who could win this major without having their victory diminished by the "Well, Tiger didn't play" factor.

* Greg Norman. He's blown it so many times that a shock victory at Birkdale would be such a great story that it wouldn't matter that Tiger wasn't in the field. In fact, any old-timer would provide a similar result, but Norman in particular due to his long history of major collapses and the fact that he isn't even a regular golfer any more.

* Rory McIlwane. At the other end of the spectrum, a young star breaking out to capture the Open would have the same result. If someone like McIlwane won, you'd be guaranteed to read at least a year of "there's finally a young rival for Tiger!" stories.

* Colin Montgomerie. It would keep alive Monty's streak of never winning a tournament that Tiger is entered in. I also don't think that Monty is the type to give a shit if Tiger was in the field or not. The British fans surely wouldn't care.

* Kenny Perry. He could play the "well, Tiger didn't get any 'Kenny wasn't there' questions after winning the U.S. Open, so I should get the same treatment' " card. In fact, given Perry's hot play of late, I'd say he's definitely the favourite to win his first major championship. Good thing he's playing in the Open in search of this career-defining victory instead of playing in some podunk tournament in Milwaukee....wait, what's that? Oh. Never mind.

* Paul Lawrie. Nobody gives him credit for winning the 1999 Open, and if he won this year's Open without Tiger, then those two half-victories would add up to one major championship! Yay!