Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Mark Loses A Slap Bet

Some of you may have noticed the PokerStars ad that was on this blog last week. Last Sunday, PokerStars had its annual poker tournament open only to bloggers, and since it's free entry to anyone with a blog, I signed up. My pal Kyle also decided on get in on the action, and thus we entered into a friendly side wager.
Now, Kyle has been trying to get me to watch How I Met Your Mother for at least the last year, and I finally relented after hearing his rapturous praise of an episode called 'Slap Bet.' That episode introduced the concept of the slap bet, which is essentially a wager between two friends where the winner gets to slap the loser a) 10 times in succession or b) 5 times, but the slaps are doled out at any point over the loser's life, without warning. Obviously, option B is way more fun, so Kyle and I chose that route.

So, tournament time. We're at separate tables, which was expected given that nearly 1400 people were playing. Ten minutes in, I was slightly up, Kyle was slightly down, and I was settled in for an afternoon of poker that was admittedly cutting into seeing my beloved Packers in action. Then came...the hand. I was dealt pocket queens, and thus raised, only to be re-raised by the button. Since my raise wasn't very big, I put the other guy on perhaps a somewhat big hand, maybe AK or AQ, and perhaps in a really evil twist AA or KK. So I just called, hoping for a kingless or aceless flop so my pair wouldn't be beaten.

Instead, I got a dream flop. K-Q-4 with two spades, so now I had trips. I checked, as anyone with a brain would in that scenario, and the guy makes a really big raise, close to half the pot. Now I'm thinking he has either nothing and is just doing a continuation bet, or he has a flush draw. I decided to re-raise all-in for two reasons -- to eliminate any potential flush, or to incite a call if he did indeed have pocket aces or even AK. Really, the only thing that would've screwed me at that point would've been if he had pocket kings...

...which, of course, he did. He called and I literally screamed in horror. The turn and river brought no relief, and I was out of the tournament almost as soon as I had started. On the bright side, I was able to catch the last quarter of the Packers' victory.

On the down side, I will now fear a slap every time I meet Kyle for the rest of my natural life. I suppose this is what it's like being in the witness protection program, except I don't have a guy tapping my foot and calling me Mr. Thompson. Kyle, rather insultingly, was knocked out of the tournament just a few minutes later, thus robbing me of rationalizing my defeat by saying I lost to the PokerStars Blogger Champion or something.


* I had an item here about how I think I'm developing a spider-sense after spending so much of a childhood reading Spider-Man comics, but it really seems redundant after that poker item. Spidey surely would've seen those pocket kings coming. Actually, there's a topic --- Peter Parker was forever strapped for cash, so why didn't he just get into gambling? With an early-warning sense telling him to avoid big poker hands, bad numbers at the roulette wheel, bad cards from the blackjack dealer, etc., Peter could've been filthy rich.


* My favourite part of the blitheringly stupid Hills/Laguna Beach phenomenon is the after-show. Two of MTV's talking heads (some chick and Eugene Levy's son, proving once again that talent isn't genetic) lead a discussion of the previous episode that seems to have been gleaned from the Chris Farley Show. "Remember when Lauren and Spencer watched that movie?" "That was awesome!"


* In my mind, Tony Danza begins and possibly ends every sentence with his signature 'Ey-oh.' "Ey-oh, Mona, have you seen Angela?" "Ey-yo, I ordered a pork chop with apple sauce." And so forth. My question is, does Danza refer to the song 'Ayo Technology' as 'Ey-yo, Ayo Technology' or just as 'Technology,' in some sort of two-negatives-make-a-positive scenario?


* There's pain, there's severe pain and then there's losing a fantasy football match by 0.28 points. Even worse, it was against a team who was already down a man with Reggie Wayne on a bye week, and the manager didn't replace him in the lineup. Many could be blamed for this failure, but the finger is pointed squarely at two -- Todd Heap and the Chicago Bears defense. Heap left the game in the first quarter with a hamstring injury, to which I can only reply 'Suck it up, princess!' It's only a hamstring! I tore my left hammy this morning and I'm fine! I'm jumping around! As for the Bears, they were single-handedly taken apart by Adrian Peterson, who ran for (let me check the stats) 84602 yards and 158 touchdowns.

Man, between fantasy football and the slap bet, I had a pretty rough weekend. Rough in a silly way, but rough nonetheless.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

While I'm embarrassed to bring attention to the fact that I even watch the Hills (It's just for Talina, I swear!), I should point out the fact that Lauren and Spencer would never go to a movie together. Lauren and Spencer are mortal enemies; Spencer even going to the length of spreading sex tape rumours about Lauren (or so we're led to believe). Spencer and Heidi (or Speidi as they are collectively known) are engaged, so they would likely go to a movie together.

This has been your daily Hills lesson. (I apologize to all other males worldwide.)

Trevor

Mark P said...

Trevor, this reply made my day. It takes a big man to admit he watches the Hills. It takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.

Does Lauren have a Speidi sense that warns her of danger?

RT Murphy said...

Spider-man didn't gamble, if the sense would actually work for that, but he did unscrupulously take photos of himself and sell them under false pretenses of photographic merit.

Oh, and that one time he competed in a fisticuffs match even though he clearly outmatched even Macho Man Randy Savage.

No wonder JJJ thought he was a crum-bum.

B. Wong said...

Haha I was just gonna bring up that minor flaw in Hills facts.