Tuesday, December 06, 2016

Let Me Sleep, It's Xmas Time

Imagine if we lived in an alternate reality where Pearl Jam were as devoted to marketing themselves as KISS were. I could be sitting here right now wearing Pearljamas instead of actual pajamas. They'd be basically a loose-fitting flannel top and pajama bottoms with your choice of a PJ song written either down the leg, or across your rear like they're pro wrestling tights. I guess you could have a song name written across the crotch, but that would seem pretty pointless unless you were really easily amused by double entendres (i.e. 'Even Flow').

Pearljamas would cost upwards of $39.99, which seems a bit much. Good thing I live in this reality. I can't afford to be dropping forty bucks on pajamas. There's rent to worry about, plus Yo La Tengo-hemed sleeping masks.

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