Saturday, August 27, 2016


Admittedly, bragging about one’s own joke is really lame, but…

I was recently at a Harvey’s waiting for my food.  Behind me in line were a very lovely woman and a slightly wacky-looking older guy who kind of resembled (and this is a real deep-cut reference for Canadians) Bill from the “Adventures With Bill” segments on the old Red Green Show.  Perhaps needless to say, the woman and pseudo-Bill weren’t there together.  So we’re all standing around when yet another lovely young woman enters the restaurant and gets in line.

Standing between these two women, this fiftysomething man reacts like a kid in the throes of puberty.  Actually, he more or less reacted like a cartoon character, stopping just short of having his eyeballs turn into hearts.  He took this big exaggerated double-take looking at the two women and said, in the most leering, cringe-inducing voice possible, “wow, is this a restaurant or a modelling agency?”

After two seconds of horribly awkward silence, I chimed in with “yeah, I do a lot of catalogue work.”

The two women broke out laughing, the two Harvey’s employees broke out laughing, and pseudo-Bill turned and looked at me with a confused look on his face.  His food happened to be ready at just that moment, and he beat a hasty retreat out of the store.

So yes, when it comes to cutting creepy old dudes down to size, consider me Batman.  Though not a Batman who does any catalogue work.  Harvey’s makes your one-liners a beautiful thing.

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