Friday, November 19, 2010

Out-Of-Context Texts In My Phone Inbox, Volume X

It's hard to believe this is the tenth edition of the out-of-contexts. How time flies. It seems like just yesterday that crusty Blogger editor J. James Jonahson stormed into my cubicle and announced that I had to produce more material or else I'd be out on my can. The joke's on him --- my can is so fat that I would've landed safely on the pavement none the worse for wear. I might've been bounced down the street on it like Tigger from Winnie the Pooh.

But, fortunately, that didn't happen.

"Hey Mark, Sarah and I are at the Gladstone, waiting and starved."

"Yes please!"

"There is another Charlie Brown on!!!"

"Ok, I will be there."

"We were a classic Lions gag job away from being the only two teams left in the survivor pool."

"You driving?"

"Last time college #1s have lost in three consecutive weeks?"

"Jon Hamm on SNL next week!"

"Yeah, madness."

"Have your postcard here in London."

"Can you let me know that you are still coming and ballpark time? Thanz."

"I am at the Blue Bombers game. Clearly a new low in my life."

"Almost there!"

"Okay! Let me know when you are there!"

"Wow, bottom of the eighth!"

"Are you picking me up or vice versa?"

"Have your watch with me."

"Hey, must have misunderstood. I thought you would be here at 1?"

"I retract 'fucking terrible.' However, I think that's been consistently been called a ball throughout the game. Also, seemed like he hesitated. How's UFC?"

"Hey man, no briefcases. Sorry."

"2 left. No misses."

"Come downstairs. Trev needs drinks."

"I'm concerned there aren't nearly enough reaction shots during these telecasts."

"Game on, my boy."

"Yo! Where r we going for ur birthday?"

"Orrrrr borderline."

"Awesome. At the car. See you in the car, Milhouse!"

"Got postcard #2 today. Bring to you in three weeks!"


"Hey! So far I see two towels, your watch and your postcard."


"Nailbiter! What was that!"

"Nathan Riva should not see the field for the rest of the year...he is awful."


"WOW...fucking terrible call."

"I'd call it Bloody Sunday if my wife weren't Irish and would thus be horribly offended..."

"It is cold, yes. But it's fun to see downtrodden people lose their last glimmer of hope in life."

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