Thursday, January 24, 2008

Other People's Writing

Happy Conception Day, me! For those of who unfamiliar with Conception Day', conception, we are exactly nine months away from my birthday. Ergo, one can consider today to be the day my parents made their Mark, so to speak. To celebrate, I will take the day off from posting and instead let you be entertained by some rib-tickling links.

Ken Levine, the TV writer/baseball announcer whose life I bitterly envy, recently posted a list of similes and metaphors submitted by teachers who actually found them in students' essays. The list is supposed to be of the 'worst' metaphors, but really, they're all quite brilliant. Come on, if you were a teacher reading some punk compare and contrast fatherhood in King Lear and Hamlet for the millionth time, you'd appreciate some levity.

I enjoy my baseball posts. You enjoy my baseball posts (presuming you read them...which you quite possibly don't). If you enjoy wacky baseball posts that are actually wacky and not thrown together with half of my ass, the fine lads at Drunk Jays Fans are a great source of Blue Jays-related comedy and commentary. One recent gem concerned how to pick one's favourite player and it is hilarious. Warning: if you go to their main page, they recently posted a note that contains a full-size picture of Gustavo Chacin. Be sure to avert your eyes at the proper moment. And to think, a young child once mistook me for him. I am no prize, ladies.

And finally, here's a somewhat, er, energetic announcer describing the final moments of a Leeds United win that kept them in the Premiership a few years ago. This guy, in the immortal words of Phoebe Buffet, sounds like Santa on Prozac at Disneyland getting laid.

1 comment:

RT Murphy said...

Some of those similes/metaphors/allusions are as old as Internet itself, particularly 9, 10, 16- with 9 in fact coming from Douglas Adams.