Monday, December 31, 2007

New Year's Eve Memories, Part Two

2000 --- The most terrifying New Year's of all. My family and I were on a vacation in Mexico, meaning we were taking the risk of being potentially stuck in a poverty-stricken foreign land during the Y2K crisis. The Y2K virus will be one of those generational touchstones that my era will be able to look back on one day and just shake our heads, much like how we can marvel about people in the 1930's rioting over an Orson Welles radio show. Its only remnant today is in the nickname of wrestler Chris Jericho. What a bunch of nothing. The only (ONLY) thing that was affected from this 'panic' was my calculator. It was fine on the last day of term, and then boom, come January it was on the fritz. I stand by this as the reason that my OAC Calculus mark was the lowest I ever got in high school.

But anyway, at the time, we were mildly panicked about being in Mexico just in case civilization as we know it went all Terminator on us. It didn't help that we were at one of those resorts in a particularly poor village, which meant we passed street after street of dilapidated housing on the way to our luxurious digs. Damn you, liberal guilt. It was in the back of mind, however, that we'd be the ones laughing out the other sides of our mouths if the hotel's security system cut out and suddenly we were at the mercy of a town that may have had motive for wanting our various foodstuffs, drinks, worldly possessions, etc. As we all know, of course, Y2K turned out to be a dud and today those folks are probably still living in abject poverty. A happy ending for us all!

2001 --- My friend Eric and I went to the Oar House, a local London sports bar, to meet up with a variety of old high school peoples. It was sort of a semi-reunion, before those things were made largely obsolete by Facebook, given that we had all graduated just last June and it was the first time we had seen many of the old faces since. It was also where I learned that Eric, somewhat humourously, didn't remember a good 75% of the people we went to high school with. Fortunately his nodding skills were first-rate and was able to bluff with the best of them.

2007 --- It was another quiet evening at Trevor's girlfriend's place, once again with Dave in tow, but this time it was others along for the ride so as to not make Dave and I the awkward third and fourth wheels. This time, Dave brought a date, so it was Eric and I who were the awkward fifth and sixth wheels. While the two couples delivered the kisses at the strike of midnight, Eric and I stared at each other suspiciously for a moment before deciding on a manly handshake. It was...uh, magical? No Chris Farley movies this time around --- this time, it was Guitar Hero. So this time it was merely the sex and rock and roll, rather than Farley's sex and drugs. I presume it was sex and drugs for ol' Chris. A man of his fame must've gotten some action. Either that or he and Spade shared more than just manly handshakes. The night also can't go without mention of the incredible food spread provided by our hosts. Seriously, nice work, T & T. There were cold cuts, veggies, chips, dip, beverages of all kinds. So once again, Farley's gluttonous legacy was fulfilled. I really need to stop describing Chris Farley in these entries.

1999 --- This was perhaps the low point of New Year's history, at least in terms of putting any effort whatsoever into planning something to do. There's no easy way to say it, but...we went to Trev's house and watched Baseketball. God, it looks even worse in print. I think we played some pool too, but that's like saying we drank lemonade after chugging some Drano. Let's move on.

2003 --- I've already done a 2003 entry in my last post, but 2003 might well have been my favourite NY'sE of all. It was a swank house party held by some university friends renowned for their outstanding themed endeavours. Their house was also particularly well-suited for holding 40-50 drunken revelers. We all dressed up in our classiest attire and headed out for a night of champagne and (as I mentioned in my last post) McDonald's eaten at breakneck speed. The highlights included one drunken lass pinching the asses of myself and various friends to, in her words, 'see which one was the best.' Somehow it came down to me and my friend Andrew in the final two, which was the most bewildering final two given the outline of the competition since Neleh and Vecepia in Survivor: Marquesas. Andrew, by the way, was the eventual winner. Jesus wept. The other comic signature of the night came when my friend Dave was drunkenly telling someone what he did that day, which went more or less like this....

"Well, I went out for a bit, went to my strip club..."
"You own a strip club?"
"What? *confused pause* Oh wait, no. I confused my life with that of Grand Theft Auto. I was playing that all day."

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