Other People's Writing

* I probably should've cited this at some point in 2019 when it actually was 25 years since the first season of Friends, but better late than never.  It's Wesley Morris of the New York Times discussing the show's still-rather incredible cultural influence, touching on such interesting topics as how the six characters both seemed to Flandersize and evolve at the same time, how younger fans today see Friends as sort of a fantasy of what adult life is like, and (perhaps most interestingly) how there were six of them.  Much has been written about how Friends nailed its casting to the nth degree, yet the actual size of the cast was a key factor.  It was an even gender split, nobody new was ever added, nobody ever left, and the dynamic never altered through all ten seasons.

* The Ringer's Brian Phillips writes a fascinating piece about the state of murder of entertainment, both in fictional and non-fictional varieties.  As someone who has read a thousand mystery novels and devoured all sorts of detective shows, it made me wonder....am I a bloodthirsty voyeur?  Not the kind of self-analysis one necessarily expects as one sifts through the Ringer's usual collection of stories about Joel Embiid's social media, and staff-wide exit polls about movie trailers.

* Maybe I'm not obsessed with murder, but just with odd crime narratives in general?  Like when the New York Times' Corey Kilgannon relates the story of how the American Museum Of Natural History was robbed in 1964, a.k.a. the biggest jewelry theft in known U.S. history.  They made a movie version of the heist in the 70's, but why the Coen brothers haven't turned this particular cast of characters into a modern film yet is beyond me.

* Oh, make that the Ringer's usual collection of stories about Joel Embiid's social media, staff-wide exit polls about movie trailers, and oral histories of pop culture or sports events --- or both, in the case of Alan Siegel's oral history of Prince's halftime show at Super Bowl 41.  The good news is that, like any Prince anecdote, you can't help read it like a Charlie Murphy Prince story, so it's endlessly entertaining.  I guess my main quibble is, if you think Prince had the best halftime show ever, that's certainly a defensible stance and maybe even the correct one.  But U2 isn't even mentioned anywhere in the story?  Really?

Other People's Writing

* It looks like I haven't done an OPW in a very long time, which I why I'm only now getting to this link from September by Chrissy Iley for the Sunday Times.  I swear, I didn't time this post to coincide with the recent news about U2 launching another "Joshua Tree Tour" leg in Australasia later this year, because Iley's piece is all about the (I can think of no other word) ordeal the band goes through in order to put on concerts night after night.  It's one of those things you don't think about as fans, but U2 are all guys approaching their 60's by this point, plus Larry and Bono both have well-documented physical issues --- it would frankly be surprising if they weren't feeling less-than-spry putting on these big energetic shows all the time.

* Here's another oldie but a goldie that I swear I've posted here before, but can't find it.  It's by Pasha Malla for McSweeney's, and it's a high school basketball coach's guide for covering Teen Wolf, by Pasha Malla.  My friend Kyle, an aficionado of both comedy and basketball, calls this his favourite McSweeney's article of all time, which is certainly high praise.  My only worry in publishing this link now is that someone from the Golden State Warriors will come across it, and get tips on how to stop Kawhi Leonard.

* A piece by the New Yorker's Ian Parker about novelist Dan "A.J. Finn" Mallory, who seems to be a total fraud in most aspects of his life.  Since being published earlier this year, this piece has been held up as sort of profile in sociopathy, and Parker himself draws a strong parallel between Mallory and Tom Ripley (Mallory is a huge Patricia Highsmith fan).  It strikes me that the Occam's Razor answer might just be that Mallory isn't necessarily a sociopath, but someone who is just extremely full of himself and pathologically lies to build up his public persona.  I did laugh at the section in the piece where it's revealed that Mallory's book is more or less a copy of the movie Copycat -- somewhere, a desperate-for-work Harry Connick Jr. is hoping to be cast in The Dan Mallory Story.

* We go from a would-be genius craving the spotlight to an actual genius who rejects it, in this profile of the great Elaine May by The Ringer's Lindsay Zoladz.  On the short list for funniest person of the 20th century, May is one of those rare people who seemed to be good at everything she did, whether it was being part of a renowned improv duo to directing her own films to writing and ghostwriting seemingly dozens of well-known hit films.  Maybe the entire theme of this OPW is me questioning whether or not I've linked to items before, since have I never posted any Nichols & May stuff?  What an oversight.

Other People's Writing

* You might recall reading about the McDonald's Monopoly scandal years ago, and The Daily Beast's Jeff Maysh recently refreshed everyone's memory with a retelling of the story.  Now, rumour has it that the Daily Beast was more or less paid for this story as a way of bringing it back into the public arena, since Ben Affleck and Matt Damon have been attached to the movie rights.  How ironic that the story about a rigged game has some elements of a "rigged" re-introduction into popular culture itself.  Anyway, the whole scandal is pretty interesting stuff and it's easy to see how it could be turned into an entertaining dark comedy.  I'd be more stoked if it was Steven Soderbergh or the Coens attached to direct rather than Affleck himself, but whatever, Argo was a good movie.

* This somehow isn't the only Affleck-related content with this OP'sW entry, as he features prominently in this look back at the DVD commentary tracks on the Criterion Collection release of "Armageddon," written by The Ringer's Andrew Gruttadaro.  The tracks would probably be noteworthy from an unintentional comedy standpoint anyway due to Michael Bay's pomposity, but the highlight is Affleck basically turning his commentary track into Mystery Science Theatre 3000 and just ripping on the movie.  Example: "Bruce Willis is the best deep-core driller? I didn’t know they rated deep-core drillers. You know what I mean? Like, if you went around and asked somebody, ‘Who’s the best deep-core driller?’ How do you know? Who keeps track of these things?"  Is it weird that I've never actually seen Armageddon?  Should I seek out this DVD specifically to watch it alongside the vocal stylings of Affleck & Bay?

* Another Ringer piece, this one from Andrew Helms and Matt Pentz, about the laundry list of problems that led to the United States failing to qualify for the FIFA World Cup.  At the top of that list?  BEN AFFLECK  Jurgen Klinsmann, basically, who never seemed to have an ounce of respect for anything in American soccer, yet didn't seem to have a clear direction about how exactly to change things.  I can see both sides in this argument, since while the U.S. men's national team clearly had to take a step forward, Klinsmann didn't make any progress by more or less disavowing everything the program had done before he walked in the door.  That said, I still find it mind-boggling that the U.S. team didn't make the World Cup, which has to be chalked up to the hiring of retread Bruce Arena as Klinsmann's replacement.  The story is well worth a full read, especially for us Canadians who never see this kind of situation with our team.  Oh, sure, there's plenty of drama behind the scenes --- I just meant that we never see a team that is ever expected to make the World Cup.

* The Ringer's Claire McNear examines the brutal side of....Quidditch?  I kid you not, this led me down the rabbit hole of watching some Quidditch games, and my god, I can see how people can easily get hurt doing this.  Imagine a co-ed combination of rugby and dodgeball, except nobody seems to exactly know the rules, and most of the time they're running around carrying brooms between their legs, which opens the door for all manner of horrific groin injuries.  It's also interesting that, if you had never heard of Harry Potter, you could watch a Quidditch game and totally just think it's a real sport.  (Though, to be fair, what makes a "real" sport real?  Did I just blow your mind?!)  Ben Affleck's next-next movie totally needs to be about a college Quidditch league that goes awry.

Other People's Writing

* Shea Serraro of The Ringer provides a ranking of the 32 greatest Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez moments in honour of The Sandlot's 25th anniversary.  If you're ever having a discussion with friends about the greatest fictional athletes, Benny The Jet is a very solid first-round pick.

* I'm embarrassed to mention that I watched Jersey Shore for its first four seasons, but honestly, I swear, the first season was genuinely entertaining.  (I should've quit while I was ahead.)  Vulture's Molly Fitzpatrick captures the madness in an oral history of the show, and really, come on, I dare anyone to read this and not laugh at some of the pure absurdity.  From the first few paragraphs about the casting process alone, we learn that Snooki's application was smudged with bronzer, Pauly D's casting was clinched because he owned a tanning booth in his own house, and The Situation's first move upon arriving for interviews with producers was to whip off his shirt.

* Wrestlemania month brought forth quite a bit of good wrestling-related writing, including this profile of The Undertaker by The Ringer's Thomas Golianopoulos.  For a related and really weird viewing experience, I suggest checking out YouTube for footage of "Mean Mark" in his early WCW days, when he's managed by (of all people) Paul Heyman himself in his old "Paul E. Dangerously" persona.  I should note that last year, I wrote a post about Undertaker's seeming retirement, though it appears as though he'll still periodically pop up for matches now and then, albeit shorter matches as a nod to his new hip and his fiftysomething age.  Given his gimmick, perhaps it isn't surprising that Undertaker wouldn't ever officially bury his career.

* And finally, there's the highlight of this OPW, a profile of Cody Rhodes by The Ringer's Mike Piellucci that looks at Rhodes' determination to prove his potential while working on the independent wrestling circuit and outside of WWE's sphere.  Now, wrestling for NJPW (the world's second-biggest wrestling company) may be cheating a bit in terms of the "independent" idea, not to mention joining an already-established and red-hot faction in the Bullet Club.  Even still, it's a great piece about Cody, his career, his life, and his at-times-problematic amount of extra pressure on him as Dusty Rhodes' son.  It's an interesting contrast with the Undertaker profile, in fact, as an example of how major success in pro wrestling is always just one gimmick or storyline away.  Mark Calaway got an amazing character in 1990 and absolutely made the most of it all the way to WWE immortality, while Rhodes never got a full crack in the main event, perhaps to WWE's detriment.  Who knows how many huge stars fans have missed out on because of bad timing, bad luck, or Vince McMahon's whims?

Other People's Writing

* Longtime OP'sW favourite Wesley Morris is back with a wonderful interview/profile of Jordan Peele, who is hopefully only a couple of weeks away from notching a couple of Oscar nominations.  I didn't think anything could top the 'football names' sketch in Peele's hierarchy, but Get Out managed to do it.  (I'm not even being snarky with that comment ---"football names" is one of the best sketches of all time.)

* The Ringer created a list of the best 100 Simpsons episodes of all time, and while it may not be THE definitive episode ranking, it's still pretty solid.  Honestly, it's hard to screw up a Simpsons top-100 unless it inexplicably features a lot of content from seasons 13-28.  I only had "Last Exit To Springfield" at #32 on my list, though I heartily acknowledge it as a worthy candidate for the top spot.

* I'm not sure if even the Simpsons could've come up with something as bonkers as a dog eating a heart meant for transplant, yet The Ringer's Andrew Gruttadero is here with the oral history of how the "One Tree Hill" writers came up with this unreal plot twist.  This piece has everything --- Joel McHale quotes, "Chad Michael Murray declined to comment for this article," the real-life Crazy Joe Davola, complaints about ice cubes, "I mean, there would be absolutely no way that a cat or a dog or any other animal would ever be found inside a hospital," and the reaction GIFs!  Oh, the reaction GIFs!

* This one scene notwithstanding, it's a shame that drek like One Tree Hill lasts on the air for years while gems like The Weird Al Show get barely a season.  Rolling Stone's Caseen Gaines talks to Al and others to get the oral history of a show that young Mark absolutely loved.  (Who am I kidding, modern Mark would absolutely love watching this again.)

Other People's Writing

That Jenny Slate/worst date item ended up morphing into an entire stand-alone post, so we're overdue for a proper Other People's Writing.

* The Ringer’s Katie Baker pays tribute to A League Of Their Own, easily one of the best sports movies ever made.  The real controversy of the 1992 Best Supporting Actress race wasn’t that Marisa Tomei won, but that ALOTO didn’t score at least two nominations.  (Lori Petty for sure, and flip a coin between Madonna and Rosie…if you could nominate a tandem act for one nomination, both of them).  Also, LOL at Debra Winger’s terrible reasoning for passing on the movie.

* A superb profile of Ted Leo by Stereogum’s Michael Tedder.  It’s the kind of profile that makes you absolutely root for Ted Leo and gives you a full and complete portrait of his life and career even if you (like me) know virtually nothing about his music.  I vaguely recall playing a couple of Pharmacists songs on my old campus radio show but no more.

* Vulture ranks all 213 Beatles songs, which I don’t really understand since I did the definitive ranking of the top 83 five years ago.  Doesn’t everyone take my posts as gospel??  Notable discrepancies between the two lists include No Reply (#74 me, #173 Vulture), Don’t Pass Me By (#31 me, #192 Vulture), Rocky Racoon (#38 me, #168 Vulture), Free As A Bird (#68 me, #206 Vulture) and The Ballad Of John And Yoko (#24 me, #179 Vulture).  Oh, plus there’s the fact that my favourite Beatles song, I’ve Just Seen A Face, clocks in at a mediocre 115th on Vulture’s list.  Infuriatingly, Vulture puts my favourite one spot below the melodic eyesore (earsore?) that was Revolution 9.  None of my top six songs even crack their top 35.  Why am I even highlighting this link?

* Vulture redeems itself with Boris Kachka’s look at the filming and creation of the Leftovers’ series finale, one of the greatest episodes within one of the greatest seasons of television ever made. 

* And just in case you think that’s it for the Leftovers material, you’re wrong!  I haven’t been able to get this show out of my mind for weeks, and probably never will, so these pieces from Alan Sepinwall still seem timeless.  Sepinwall, one of the show’s biggest critical champions, had loads of tremendous coverage ready to go immediately after the finale, including a great encapsulation of the episode itself, an interview with Carrie Coon, The Best Actress On Television (as is her legal name at this point) as well as an interview with showrunner Damon Lindelof.  The show ended perfectly, though I won’t lie, Lindelof’s casual mention of an alternate idea about the device being a Guilty Remnant hoax would’ve been pretty amazing.

Other People's Writing

* An admittedly morbid but fascinating look from The Guardian's Sam Knight at what will happen to the United Kingdom (and really, the world) when Queen Elizabeth II passes away, and how institutions all over the UK have prepared for the sad day.  It ranges from BBC Radio already having their playlists arranged with properly sober music choices to, in fact, quite a bit of uncertainty since it's been so long (1952) since the UK has had to deal with a changeover in royal power.

* As someone whose parents have a weekly "Dominos night" (on Tuesday, for the two-medium special deal) and whose friends always order Dominos when we get together to watch Survivor, I've had more than my share of the pizza chain over the years.  Bloomberg BusinessWeek's Susan Berfield looks at how Dominos regained its foothold in the pizza market thanks to tech-friendly ways of ordering and delivery.  (Bonus points to Bloomberg for laying out the article to resemble the Dominos Pizza Tracker.)  There's also some focus on my single favourite ad campaign of all time, the "our pizza isn't good, we're changing it" that was so upfront it was actually brilliant.  Maybe I should start doing that.  Folks, this blog's content has been going downhill for years...

* Speaking of Survivor, here's a wonderful story from Good Times Santa Cruz's Aaron Carnes about how the show unwittingly formed a connection that led to Kelly van den Berghe (wife of Lex, from S3 and S8) getting a kidney donated to her.

* Oral history time!  Sportsnet's John Molinaro, my old pal from the Toronto FC beat, put together the oral history of all the club's ups and downs over their first ten years of existence.  (Specifically, it was about eight years of down and then the last two years have been ups.)

* A rare good article about Saturday Night Live from Rolling Stones, which a few years back published a ranking of SNL cast members that was so bad that the earth should've been salted so such a piece could never again grow.  This one, however, lets the cast speak for themselves, with various actors describing their favourite sketches of all time.  Highlights include learning how everyone kept a straight face during Chris Farley's Chippendales audition sketch, and that Christopher Walken's Continental was actually based on a real show.

* A profile of the always-fascinating Jack White by the New Yorker's Alec Wilkinson.  There's rather little about the White Stripes since the band is not exactly at the forefront of what White is up to these days, which is turning Third Man Records into a cornerstone for the vinyl record industry.

Other People's Writing

Who needs my blather when you can rely on actual good writers?!

* Pity the poor Raiders fans, as the Ringer's Michael Weinreb writes, as their team is finally starting to turn things around on the field and yet also on the verge of leaving Oakland for Las Vegas.  I've always had kind of a soft spot for the Raiders' renegade mentality, and if I hadn't been a Packers fan (which is ironic, since Packer Nation is about the most Pollyanna of all fanbases and basically Raider Nation's opposite), you might well have seen me in the Black Hole with my bald head painted silver.  That being said, as someone who has been to the Coliseum before, holy crow does Oakland need a new stadium.

* There's more than a little too much pointless celebrity fluff on the Ringer, which is why the site still can't be seen as anything more than Grantland-lite.  Still, some of the fluff has its amusing moments, like Sam Donsky's exploration of the best night any celebrity has ever had at Madison Square Garden.  The pictures alone (drunk Amanda Seyfried, Larry David looking like every picture of Larry David, the incredible reaction shots from Miguel Cotto and his kid, etc.) are worth the price of admission.

* Casual wrestling fans of the 80's and 90's may remember Haku as a rather forgettable midcard wrestler in the WWF, or in a somewhat larger role as Meng in WCW.  Behind the scenes, however, Tonga Fifita had a real-life reputation as a near-mythical badass.  Crave Online's Rob Fee collects some of the most well-known anecdotes, and a quick jaunt to Fifita's Wikipedia page reveals a few more choice quotes.  Jake Roberts could always cut a great promo, so it's no surprise that he has the best line about Fifita's toughness.

* Obligatory oral history time!  This one's by Rob Neyer for Complex, about the history of Seinfeld's most famous baseball-related humour.  If I ever do a 'best Seinfeld episodes' listamania entry (hard to believe I haven't done this yet), the one with Keith Hernandez will be high on the list.

* I love pretty much everything Joe Posnanski writes (uh, except about Penn State) but I especially love it when he rips into a silly infomercial.  And even ‘rips into’ is stretching it, as he takes this ad apart with hot fire in the most polite way possible.  Bonus points since this ridiculous commercial stars, of all people, a random former Survivor player.

Other People's Writing

* A fascinating look at perhaps “the most restaurant in America” and one that also seems kind more than a bit of a put-out, as examined by the New Yorker’s Nick Paumgarten.  My friend Shannon pointed me in the direction of this article, and her theory is that Damon Baehrel is a modern-day Andy Kaufman with a restaurant devoted towards mocking the pretension of foodies.  I feel like Paumgarten could’ve discovered what was “really going on” with a hint more detective work, though he obviously feels like preserving the mystery for the sheer fun of it.

* “Batman: The Animated Series” is quite possibly the best non-Simpsons cartoon of all time, and almost certainly the best version of Batman in mass media history.  That said, I really didn’t know a thing about Paul Dini (the co-head writer/show-runner of that and many other outstanding) until this profile from Vice’s Mitchell Sunderland.  One can only sigh when thinking about how DC would’ve benefited by simply putting Dini and Bruce Timm in charge of their live-action films a few years ago, but c’est la vie.

* For anyone who has ever gone through their list of “happy birthday!” greetings to see how it differed from the previous year (uh, I mean, um, I don’t do this), this piece by The Ringer’s Molly McHugh about how Facebook has essentially taken over the concept of birthday wishes is for you.  I think the step beyond is posting something on FB to celebrate someone’s birthday when they’re not even on Facebook themselves.  My dad has missed out on several warm wishes from me since he doesn’t have an account.  What, does he expect me to call him or something? 

* The Ringer recently had a “Cleveland Week” devoted to a wide array of stories about the city, including Alyssa Bereznak’s story about how the leg lamp from ‘A Christmas Story’ inspired a museum devoted to the film located within the actual house in which the movie was shot.  Next time I’m in Cleveland, I’m wondering where I made a wrong turn absolutely visiting this place.

* More from Cleveland Week, from the Ringer’s Sean Fennessey, a story that begins about legendary Cleveland disc jockey Alan Freed (who everyone’s heard of) and morphs into a much more interesting read about Harvey Fuqua, who may be one of the most influential people in music history that few remember today.

* Kate McKinnon is the best, as I’ve been saying for years.  I love that we get only a glimpse of her in this interview with the New York Times’ Dave Itzkoff, seemingly because the answers read like Itzkoff probably thought he was getting great stuff in the moment, only to listen to his recorder afterwards and realize that she didn’t really give him a damn thing.  The enigma that is McKinnon!

Other People's Writing

Holy smokes, Other People’s Writing is back!  With fanfare!

* Blog readers know how I'm often championing 'The Americans' as both perhaps the best show on TV and absolutely the most underrated given how it's inexplicably ignored by both audiences and awards shows.  Little did I know that the show was in part based on a real-life situation involving Russian sleeper agents raising a family in the United States, as chronicled by The Guardian's Shaun Walker.  Tell you what, to avoid spoilers, watch all three-plus seasons and THEN come back to read the article.  I'll wait.

* Joe Posnanski openly admits ranking the top 100 Summer Olympics athletes of all time is a fruitless endeavour, so I can't complain too much over nonsense like his ranking most of the Dream Team into 11 slots.  Then again, he leaves off Christian Laettner, which is patently hilarious.

* Animaniacs was watched by pretty much everyone in my generation so we didn’t need to “get it,” though it’s certainly one of those shows that you really needed to see to understand (or believe).  The Toast’s Abbey Fenbert sums up the show as well as possible, and I'll also mention that Tiny Toon Adventures was an important and necessary forerunner in the "incredibly postmodern WB cartoons" canon.  Sixteen-year-old Mark watching Citizen Kane for the first time was pretty blown away to realize that he'd already seen the entire film spoofed via Tiny Toons' "Citizen Max" episode (plus several gags on the Simpsons).

* The SNL "ten to 1" sketch to end all ten-to-1 sketches may well have been the legendarily weird potato chip sketch, the creation of which is chronicled in this oral history by Uproxx's Mike Ryan.  To this day, I cannot figure out how Will Forte, Jason Sudeikis and Blake Lively got through that thing without so much as a smirk out of character.  Forte and Sudeikis were tough nuts to crack (in fact, I'm not sure I saw Forte break character even once in all his years on the show) but for a first-timer like Lively to get through it, that takes skill.  Between this and living every day having to laugh at Ryan "Tries Too Hard" Reynolds' jokes, is Blake Lively the best actress of our generation?

* Few celebrities inspired as much mystique as Prince, who was essentially the potato chip sketch of musicians.  In the wake of his death, Vulture's David Marchese re-published an old compilation of 24 of the best eccentric Prince stories, and I can only imagine they're all true.

* It almost feels like Tiger Woods is approaching that Prince zone where almost any anecdote (no matter how odd) can be instantly believed, if this ESPN.com piece by Wright Thompson is any indication.  Tiger believes in ghosts?  Sure.  Tiger has no confidence around women, much to the shock of Michael Jordan and Derek Jeter?  Why not.  Tiger considered leaving golf entirely to enter Navy SEAL training?  Checks out.  I can't recommend this piece highly enough if you're a golf fan.

Other People's Writing

Let’s pause for a moment to realize just how badly the “Other People’s Writing” feature will dry up without Grantland.  Sighhhhh

* Wait, one more Grantland piece for me to mine for content!  A profile of the late, great Jan Hooks as Mike Thomas details the former SNL star’s final days and why she more or less retired from acting in the 21st century.  The reason seems to be part health issues, part a hinted-at drinking problem and mostly just Hooks losing interest in being famous.

* Keeping with the SNL theme, here’s a profile of Leslie Jones from the New Yorker's Andrew Marantz.  I am beyond excited for the new Ghostbusters.  It may be my most-anticipated movie of 2016, unless Hollywood has somehow been filming a biopic about me without my permission.  Oddly enough, it’s also starring Leslie Jones.

* Speaking of a life made into a movie, NBC Sportsworld’s Joe Posnanski has the too-cinematic-to-be-true story of dressage rider Laura Graves.  In a way, having a story this good written about you is an even better reward than an Olympic medal.  In another, more accurate, way, I think Graves would prefer actually getting into the Games.

* More Posnanski, this one looking back at one of (all things considered) greatest marketing campaigns in history, the old “Alcoa’s Fantastic Finishes” sponsorship that used to run during the two-minute warnings of NFL games in the 1980’s.  These ads really paved the way for the many ways in which advertising and sports intersect, which is why I’m currently watching a bowl game with a long mouthful of a name as opposed to just the “___ Bowl.”  Thanks for nothing, Alcoa.

* This one’s a few months old but somehow I haven’t linked to it already….ah well, just pretend there’s been a “best of 2015” theme in this post.  It’s the last post of the year anyway, whaddya want from me?  Regardless, here’s Larry David talking to Golf Digest about his golf game and the sport in general.  Let’s also pause to raise an eyebrow at the fact that Golf Digest apparently has a ‘comedy issue.’  I think it’s just a collection of my last 150 scorecards.

Other People's Writing

* In my favourite piece of the bunch, we get the real-life story of Maggie Goldenberger, a.k.a. the “Ermahgerd” internet meme girl, is told by Vanity Fair’s Darryn King.  I love that R.L. Stine is constantly asked about this meme and that it seems to annoy the hell out of him.

* The top 10 prisoners in movie history are ranked by Grantland’s comedy duo of Shea Serrano and Jason Concepcion.  This list had me from the opening paragraph, which describes “Death Warrant,” a heretofore unknown movie to me where Jean-Claude Van Damme plays a Mountie!  Suddenly I want a JCVD remake of Due South in the worst possible way.  As for the list itself, it’s hard to argue with their top choice, though Sly Stallone merited at least a top-three for the sheer volume of captives he’s played over the course of his long career.  There’s also a mention of “Ernest Goes To Jail,” and I kid you not, I actually had a lengthy conversation about the Ernest movies last weekend.  Like, a group of intelligent people discussing Ernest for a good 15-20 minutes here in the year 2015.  Our final conclusion was that Jim Varney was basically the modern Olivier.

* Cris Collinsworth is probably the best football analyst working today and even more probably the best on TV, and Grantland’s Bryan Curtis both profiles him and looks at his process in preparing to call a game.

* A little background is necessary for this one.  John Teti, of the Onion’s AV Club, has a podcast where he discusses pop culture with his mother.  Last year they discussed “Nathan For You” and Mrs. Teti was not a fan.  Fast-forward to now, when Teti is interviewing Nathan Fielder about the upcoming season of his show and Fielder proposes that “rather than a typical interview, Fielder wanted me to moderate a conversation between him and my mom. His goal: convince Mom to like him.”  Here’s the result.  Nathan Fielder may be a genius. 

* A “here’s how the sausage is made” story about the modern music industry (or, really, the music industry for all time) by The Atlantic’s Nathaniel Rich, which essentially just points out the fact that pretty much every pop star is a complete creation of record labels.  Maybe I can use this article as consolation when U2 takes years upon years to release a new album; if U2 weren’t “real artists” who wrote the songs themselves, they could just have a team of writers cranking out new hits for them on an annual basis.  The view is nice from up here on my high horse!

* The unreal seventh inning of Game Five of the Rangers/Blue Jays series is recapped by Joe Posnanski and Michael Schur.  It's as glorious as the inning itself.  (Your opinion may vary if you hail from Texas.) 

* A celebration of Law & Order on its 25-year anniversary, from Grantland’s Charles Pierce.  My introduction to Law & Order came during a trip to Montreal with my friends in 2001.  In theory, it was four young guys partying it up in an exciting city for four days — in reality, it was sleeping in until noon every day, then watching Law & Order reruns on A&E until mid-afternoon then going to an Expos game at night and being in bed by midnightish.  Party people!  Anyway, there may be no more perfect procedural than L&O from about 1991-2000, and it can be argued that this run more or less invented the modern procedural show that dominates the ratings in so many forms (CSI, NCIS, Criminal Minds, etc.) today.  You can’t ask for more than a best-of-both-worlds format that allows it to be both a cop show AND a lawyer show, which is essentially network catnip.  Pierce is also dead-on with his ultimate L&O cast — McCoy, Kincaid, Schiff, Briscoe, Logan, Van Buren is hard to argue, as much as I feel Ben Stone is still a vastly underrated figure in the Law & Order universe — and his picks as the ultimate tertiary characters.  When Lorraine Toussaint appeared on “Orange Is The New Black” last season, I was excited from the get-go since that was Shambala Green, man!  You knew business was about to pick up.

Other People's Writing

This month’s OPW is headlined by a powerful piece by my old university friend Shannon Proudfoot, telling the story of a young couple dealing with early-onset Alzheimer’s.  Tremendously moving stuff.

* Here’s the latest of those ultra-specially formatted long-form pieces Grantland runs every few months, this one by David Samuels focused on the long history of the Gracie family’s involvement in (and creation of) Brazilian ju-jitsu and mixed martial arts.  Kudos to the person who got the idea for linking the names throughout the story to the family tree menu on the left side of the page so it was easier to keep track of everything; this was incredibly convenient.  While Samuels’ piece is tremendous and covers a lot of ground, there’s just so much story to be told about all the Gracies throughout history that this piece still feels like just the tip of the iceberg.  That tidbit about a distant relative designing Gracie Mansion (the official mayor’s residence in New York City) was super-cool.

* The story of two twin brothers (naturally) who have owned Twins.com for decades, as told by Grantland’s Ben Lindbergh.  They’ve hung onto the domain name despite repeated attempts from MLB to purchase it for the Twins’ official website, though the brothers seem open to the idea under a more specific set of negotiations. 

* Grantland’s “Tom Cruise Week” was more than a little overblown, as nobody needed more than a dozen pieces examining the career of a guy who is (let’s be honest) a one-note character actor who just happens to be a) a huge star and b) is admittedly very good at playing that one note.  One of the more interesting pieces of the bunch, however, was Amos Barshad’s look at how the Cruise/Nicole Kidman marriage dynamic was both examined and impacted by their roles in Eyes Wide Shut.  I think I could read about Stanley Kubrick’s weird directorial tendencies all day long, though that being said, I have zero interest in ever seeing EWS again.  I’m sure that 33-year-old me would see the film with more depth than 18-year-old Mark did, yet man, did I ever think that movie stunk.

* A real eye-opener from Grantland’s Jordan Ritter Conn about the Legends Football League (better known as the Lingerie Football League).  The players put themselves through a physical grind for no pay (literally) and more-than-vaguely sexist working conditions all for the love of competition.  Consider how the NFL is only starting to be scrutinized for its practices and you’ll get an idea of how the LFL operates.

* Grantland’s Shea Serrano looks at how he would’ve performed in several famous “hero dad” moments from movies.  He left out Marty McFly braving the perils of time travel to save his punk son from participating in a robbery; I don’t think I would’ve tried that for all the hoverboard time in the world.

Other People's Writing

* Every Mad Men episode is ranked by Buzzfeed's Kate Aurthur.  I don't have any serious problems with the order here (the top four are unimpeachable) though of course, I have quibbles!  The pilot, "The Crash" and a couple of the S7.5 episodes are too high, "At The Codfish Ball" and "Souvenir" are way too low (c'mon, Don & Betty in Rome barely cracks the top eighty?!?!) and "The Strategy" would've been my #5.

* "I woke up at the moment that the miracle occurred/A film that made some sense of all the world."  Rob Bricken of io9.com is incredulous that a movie like Mad Max: Fury Road both actually managed to get made in the first place, and that it ended up being so awesome.  Bricken is right, this movie is the best.  Will Hollywood learn a lesson that the best way to make a good movie is just to let a creative director so whatever they HA HA HA I couldn't even finish that without breaking up.

* Speaking of things that seem impossible, NBC Sports' Joe Posnanski chronicles how Steph Curry developed into a thoroughly unlikely NBA superstar.

* And speaking of NBC, let's get really inside-baseball with this fascinating look at how NBC's news department has been steadily declining for years, culminating in the Brian Williams scandal.  Vanity Fair's Bryan Burrough really outdoes himself with some fine reporting here that breaks down exactly how things have been going from bad to worse at the ol' Peacock.  Jack Donaghy would never have stood for this, that's for certain.

* Nina Simone is a musical legend who has somewhat been forgotten to history, though this piece from Grantland's Brian Phillips reminds us that her music and social conscience are as relevant today as ever.

* Oral history time!  Alan Siegel of the Onion's AV Club delves into the creation of the Simpsons' legendary "Who Shot Mr. Burns?" two-part cliffhanger.  You may all remember the episodes as the only reason my generation knows who Tito Puente is.

Other People's Writing

* Grantland’s Jason “The Maester” Concepcion isn’t just a Game Of Thrones expert, he’s also a wonderful comedian.  His take on Rajon Rondo’s Connect Four advice to children is an instant classic, made even funnier by the fact that Rondo is actually a Connect Four obsessive (of all things) in real life.

* Kyle Ryan continues the Onion AV Club’s series on past Billboard #1 albums by looking at…“The Button-Down Mind Of Bob Newhart” comedy record?  Yeah, that’s right, a comedy album once not only topped the charts, it did so for 14 weeks in 1960.  You can find most of the album’s routines on YouTube and man, they still hold up.  Newhart was a genius.

* Blur is back!  (Not in pog form)  Grantland's Amos Barshad has the latest on Blur's new album, their first in ages.  I can't say I'm a huge Blur fan, yet if you distill their best stuff onto a single greatest hits disc, that is a hell of a record.  I would know, since I own a Blur greatest hits collection.  Hopefully none of their new stuff is any good so my album is still up to date...is that selfish?

* It’s probably not a surprise who tops Shea Serrano’s list of ‘The Sandlot’ character power rankings, yet Serrano also makes a persuasive case that Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez is the greatest movie athlete of all time.  I figure it’s between Benny The Jet, Michael Jordan in ‘Space Jam,’ Teen Wolf, post-car theft Forest Whitaker in “Fast Times At Ridgemont High,” Rocky Balboa or Roy Hobbs.

* Imagine a world where one NFL draft pick punched Roger Goodell in the face every year?  SB Nation’s Jon Bois takes us into this reality, which no doubt many Patriots fans are currently wishing was our universe.

* We recently passed the 100th anniversary of Orson Welles’ birth, and man, there are few more fascinating people in film history than Welles.  You can make a strong case he was the biggest overall talent in Hollywood history except for his bottom-of-the-barrel ranking in playing well with others.  Grantland’s Brian Phillips gives a brief overview of Welles’ life and his making of “The Lady From Shanghai.”  I could honestly read Orson Welles stuff all day long.

* Dolph Lundgren is several rungs behind Welles on the talent ladder, yet it’s hard to argue that he hasn’t lived as interesting a life.  Grantland’s Alex Pappademas interviews Ivan Drago himself about his career and any number of subjects.

* Keeping the “general career overview” theme going, here’s Rafe Bartholomew’s writeup on the career of Manny Pacquiao, which is really one of the more unlikely journeys in recent sports history.  If only Pacquiao/Mayweather had taken place back in 2009….c’est la vie.

Other People's Writing

* Stephen Rodrick of The New Yorker profiles casting director Allison Jones, one of the true unsung heroes of comedy over the last 20 years.  Her keen eye for talent will only be further proven once I finally get my audition reel together.  It’s 10 minutes of “what if Arnold Schwarzenegger and Arnold Palmer were the same person?  I think it would go a little bit like this…”

* Since legendary documentarian Errol Morris directed a few 30-for-30 shorts for ESPN, Grantland celebrated him with an entire ‘Errol Morris Week’ series of pieces about his life and career, including this look at his advertising work by Mike Powell.  This was a pretty mind-blowing read…I consider myself an Errol Morris fan and have enjoyed a number of his films, most notably the incredible “Thin Blue Line” yet I had no idea that a) I’d been watching Morris commercials for much of my life and b) he’d directed such an incredible number of ads for such a variety of companies. 

* Grantland’s Bryan Curtis writes about the relationship between the Oklahoma City Thunder and their local reporters, which is sort of a microcosm of how every relationship between journalists and the athletes/teams they cover is changing in response to overall changes in the media landscape.  This was a particularly great piece from my own perspective as a writer, yet I’d be interested to know what others think…was it a little too naval-gazing, or did Curtis (as I suspect) excel at making a bit of an insider topic very accessible and relatable to all?

* More from Bryan Curtis, this one a wonderful tribute to the late Dave Goldberg, a long-time NFL writer for the Associated Press.  Goldberg wrote hundreds upon hundreds of wonderful pieces for the AP that went uncredited and a total pro about it, unlike my when I received my first Canadian Press assignment early in my career and excitedly told my mom to watch for it in the next day’s newspaper.  Much to my chagrin, when I cockily opened the paper the next day, my byline was nowhere to be found (wire stories only run bylines about half the time).  Sigh.

* Liam Neeson’s “action-dad” performances are ranked by Grantland’s Holly Anderson.  I’d argue that “Love Actually” is a glaring omission from this list; Liam spends that whole movie trying to help his young son literally get some action from his school crush!  Well, not actually “action” in the grown-up sense, maybe just a kiss or holding hands on the bus.

* More lists!  This one is from Grantland’s Jason Concepcion and Shea Serrano, teaming up to decide the greatest fictional basketball player of all time.  I think Ripley got a bit of a raw deal here…based on that shot alone, she had to be at least top-five.  Sure, we never got to see how she’d fare at anything other than long range, but c’mon, after spending four movies battling Alien xenomorphs, I’m pretty sure she could handle a zone defense. 

* Even more lists!  The Grierson & Leitch film reviewing duo rank all of Will Ferrell’s movies according to “their maximizing of Ferrell’s essence.  Which movie best captures the Will Ferrell experience?”  By that token, their top choices are impossible to argue, though I’d say that by omitting his cameo appearances in certain films, they’re ignoring Ferrell’s utility as a comic microwave.  Just throw him in a scene, let him do something funny to perk it up, and he can quickly leave ‘em laughing.  (SNL used him in this capacity countless times.)  This list is also a bit of an eye-opener since, without cameos, it’s hard to believe that Ferrell has only been in MAYBE ten good movies in his life, yet those ten are all incredible. 

Other People's Writing

* Amidst all of the “Parks & Recreation” celebration this past week, the mood was darkened by the news that writer Harris Wittles passed away of an apparent drug overdose.  Aziz Ansari commemorated his friend with this wonderful tribute, and there is no doubt the world lost a unique comic voice far too soon.

* Sticking with the general Amy Poehler theme, Uproxx’s Chloe Schildhause has an oral history about the creation of the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre.

* Let’s hop in the Wayback Machine to a New Yorker profile of Ricky Jay from 1993.  There is no better way to fall down a YouTube hole than to get watching old Ricky Jay routines.  The fact that he’s repeating the same tricks and even the patter in modern performances as he did them 30 years ago is actually perhaps the most impressive part — this guy is a total pro.  Check out the Ricky Jay documentary currently airing on Netflix for more, including another telling of his legendary “block of ice” trick.

* Another New Yorker piece, this one by Reeves Wiedeman just a couple of weeks ago, about a competition between people trying to be “the last man” to avoid knowledge of who won the Super Bowl.  I love that amusingly silly stuff like this exists in the world, and if the Super Bowl ever ends up fitting two teams I hate, I might consider doing this.  Like, if last year’s game had been Ravens/Cowboys, I might’ve just moved to a small cabin in northern Ontario for several months and lived off the land like Ron Swanson.

* The marketing concepts being the Cleveland Browns’ SUPER-EXTENSIVE rebranding is revealed by Grantland’s Brian Phillips.  My poor dad…he became a Browns fan back when he was a kid, which started out great for him since this was right in Jim Brown’s heyday, but the last 50 or so years have been pretty thin.  I still think that the only time I’ve ever seen my father legitimately irate was when Ernest Byner fumbled that ball at the goal line.

Other People's Writing

* Grantland's Shea Serrano and Jason Concepcion evaluate the top 10 movie fighters of all time, with loads of other awards given in various categories.  Their top choice is pretty solid, but I feel they left out Butch Cassidy.  It's hard to top his traditional fight-opening move.

* An absolutely gorgeous memoir/story from Joe Posnanski about his start in journalism.  Did I ever write about how I actually met Posnanski a couple of years ago?  He was visiting Toronto for a story and I ran into him at work, giving me an opportunity to shake his hand and compliment him on his writing.  Nice fellow!

* Also from Posnanski, he writes about the intertwining lives of Gordie Howe and Jean Beliveau.  I think I speak for all Canadians when I say that I could read "Gordie Howe is tough as nails" and "Jean Beliveau was the classiest man in the world" stories all day.

* Grantland's Robert Mays profiles the Packers' offensive line, giving them a nice spotlight in the wake of their collective impressive season.  I admit, I was worried about the O-line going into the year but they've played well. My only fear now is that this article was a massive jinx heading into this weekend's playoff game and now Aaron Rodgers will get sacked nine times.

* Another terrific review from Wesley Morris, my favourite film critic, looking at Ana DuVernay's "Selma."  It was a very good film, one worthy of a Best Picture nomination, even if some of the big names in bit parts were oddly distracting.  Martin Sheen and Cuba Gooding Jr. each getting a minute of screen time?

* The Grantland staff steals my acclaimed 'Listamania' gimmick and creates a bunch of top five lists in a nod to the movie Top Five.  Now, for those who haven't seen the film, Chris Rock plays a movie star who is rather dissatisfied with his marriage and realizes this over the course of a long-form interview with a reporter (the always-terrific Rosario Dawson).  In real life, Rock did a ton of long-form interviews to promote this movie, and now he's getting a divorce from his actual wife.  If we find out that Rock is hooking up with one of those reporters, this whole thing is going through the looking glass.  

* The highlight of Grantland's recent "Paul Thomas Anderson tribute week" was this sprawling oral history of Boogie Nights that's almost as sprawling as the movie itself.  I really need to see this film again at some point --- I saw it once when I was about 16 and didn't care for it at all, yet I readily admit that's far too young to appreciate a PTA film.

* Speaking of sprawling, here's an interview the Guardian's Dorian Lynskey conducted with U2 that covers just about everything under the sun.  It's from October, so it's a bit outdated in regards to things like Bono's bicycle accident and subsequent injuries, which I'm trying to convince myself aren't too serious.

* Taking a postmodern look at the idea of a 'best of' list for the year, Rolling Stone instead released its list of the year's best….lists.  This is the rare Rolling Stone countdown that doesn't have a musician from the 1960's or 70's at the top.

Other People's Writing

* Chris Rock has been all over the place with terrific, insightful interviews with a number of different media outlets while promoting his 'Top Five' movie.  In fact, it's gotten to the point where you can probably make a list of your top five Chris Rock interviews from the last two weeks.  Tops on everyone's list, however, would almost have to be this outstanding talk with Vulture's Frank Rich covering every topic under the sun.

* A sprawling, all-over-the-place story by Grantland's Brian Phillips about both modern sumo wrestling and a failed coup attempt in Japan in 1970.  The two topics, Phillips readily admits, have nothing to do with each other yet addressing them at the same time seems almost fitting for a story set amidst the epic convergence of the past and present that is Tokyo.

* It's a simple question: Grantland's Jason Concepcion wonders if Kevin McCallister from 'Home Alone' grew up to be Jigsaw from the 'Saw' movies.  It all checks out.

* More or less the history of 20th/21st century pro wrestling in North America, as chronicled by Dan O'Sullivan of Jacobin.  The definitive novel (or really, you'd need a series of novels) about pro wrestling's history has yet to be written, but consider this an appetizer.

* So, I wrote my review of Gone Girl earlier this week and was pretty pleased with it, yet I'm just a speck on the beach compared to Wesley Morris' fantastic reviews.  Morris kills it week after week at Grantland, including this wonderful breakdown of GG.  Describing Rosamund Pike's performance as "a mix of salt, honey and antifreeze" is awesomely poetic stuff.  You know you're reading good writing when you disagree with the basic premise (I clearly liked Gone Girl a lot more than Morris did) yet I agree with every point he makes.

* More movie-writing, as Grantland's Alex Pappademas looks at Interstellar within the tradition of other milestone space exploration films, ranging from 2001 to Solaris to Star Trek to Contact.  There's even a mention of 'Sunshine' in there, perhaps the greatest "movie undone by its final 30 minutes" of all time.  Two-thirds of the way through Sunshine, I legit thought I was watching an iconic masterpiece but things just really went south.

* Every NBA team's top celebrity fan is broken down by Grantland's Shea Serrano in this colourful series of graphics.  I love the idea of these people actually all sitting in a row, so Danny Trejo is just hating life stuck between Macklemore and Justin Timberlake…what in the world would those three have to talk about?  I have to wonder if Fred Armisen is actually a Trail Blazers fan, but really, any excuse to post this sketch.

Other People's Writing

Who needs me when you have these scribes?

* Let's kick things off with an exploration of the history of North American waterparks by Bryan Curtis, and it's an awesome read.  Most, if not all, of the rides and design of modern waterparks were designed by two guys (George Millay and Jeff Henry), and as a frequent visitor to London's old Wally World park in my youth, I tip my cap to these guys.  This article also is kind of a new horizon for Grantland features as wow, they go all out with the page design for this one, including interactive graphics and an actual video allowing you to "ride" one of the giant slides.  So yeah, if you have vertigo, you might want to have someone read this one to you.

* The cool graphic layout isn't just limited to one ESPN site, you also see some interesting visuals for this ESPN The Magazine profile of Jerry Jones by Don Van Natta Jr.  This is a very well-written piece that hits the perfect sweet spot between 'puff piece' and 'pull-no-punches expose,' and it's almost enough to make me kind of pity poor ol' Jer…..ah, who am I kidding, I'll always hate the Cowboys.

* Gawker's Jacob Clifton looks at both the finale and more or less the entire first season of The Leftovers.  It's a nice breakdown of how the show examines grief and the loss of hope (or, grief AS the loss of hope) and really gets to the heart of the fascinating Guilty Remnant, perhaps the favourite for the 'villain of the year' on TV this year.  To touch on my own thoughts on the show (after two episodes) as it related to the original book, it's interesting that Damon Lindelof and Tom Perrotta have essentially run through the novel's story just in the first season.  It's an interesting narrative choice and an exciting one, since I have no idea what the hell Season Two of this show could possibly look like.  Whatever happens, Carrie Coon is the breakout TV star of the year and she deserves an Emmy.

* Golf fans with short attention spans may not even remember Anthony Kim, yet it wasn't long ago that he was considered the latest next big thing of the golf world.  Now, Sports Illustrated's Alan Shipnuck catches us up on why Kim isn't playing on the PGA Tour and why he's living a very low profile (albeit still somewhat of a baller) life.  It's kind of an interesting moral conundrum that only the very wealthy would face: would you give up your life's work, something you've trained since childhood to do, for $35 million bucks?  Ok, so maybe it's not THAT much of a conundrum.

* Finally, we have a ranking of Mortal Kombat II's characters from Grantland's Shea Serrano.  While the omission of Jade, Smoke and Noob Saibot was pretty glaring, Serrano's list is pretty solid.  My own personal ranking...

12. Kung Lao
11. Mileena
10. Shang Tsung (Serrano is right, you wasted half the fight trying to remember the codes to morph into the other players)
9. Reptile
8. Johnny Cage
7. Scorpion
6. Kitana
5. Jax
4. Liu Kang
3. Sub-Zero
2. Baraka
1. Raiden