Silence Of The Names

Time normalizes anything but when you really think about it, “Hannibal Lecter” and “Clarice Starling” are both pretty silly character names for what is supposed to be a relatively realistic series of suspense novels.  “Clarice Starling” sounds straight outta the Hunger Games, where at least you could excuse the extreme “young and innocent” vibe of the name as befitting a young adult novel.  “Hannibal Lecter” is technically an ok name for a serial killer, except for the fact that Lecter is a cannibal, which takes things into a ridiculous “Crentist the dentist” direction straight out of Dwight Schrute’s desperate mind.  Did an editor put Harris on the spot  or something?

Editor: Tom, you’ve been stalling on this novel for months.  The publisher wants to meet with you, and the smallest thing could cause him to pull your book deal.

Harris: No worries, he’ll love my new idea for a serial killer, a cannibal named Ronaldo Lecter.

Editor: Ok, here he comes.

Publisher: Harris!  Good to finally meet you, my name is Ronaldo Marquez.

Harris: Wait, what?

Publisher: I’m annoyed by these delays.  Pitch me on this idea for a big bad villain of yours right now!

Harris: He’s a cannibal named….uh, Hannibal.

Editor: Yikes.

Publisher: Sure, whatever, I’m a busy man.  Pages by Monday!

Editor: Wait, really?

Harris: Sure thing, chief!

Editor: Man, quality control in this place…