As a follow-up to my rapturously well-received series of New Year's Eve memories posts (one whole comment!), I felt it was appropriate on this most romantic of days to recount my favourite memories of Valentine's Days past.
2002 --- Umm......
2006 --- Er.....
1999 --- Yeah.....
1987 --- Here's one! Back in kindergarten, we were doing the whole class card-exchange as immortalized in the Simpsons with Lisa giving Ralph the 'Choo-Choo Choose You' card. I, unlike Ralph, received several cards (no more than four of which had to be out of pity), but of my V-Day haul, an incredible EIGHT cards came from one particular girl. This came as quite a shock, given how I had exchanged maybe three words with this girl in my life. No idea what her name was -- I think she lived about a block away from my parents' house, so I guess if I really wanted to, I could ring a few doors, but that would be just fuckin' peculiar this many years later. Of course, I didn't follow up back on the situation when it actually took place but, in all seriousness, what was I suppose to do? Ask her out? We were five years old. I guess I could've asked her to play house with me, but I dunno, that's a big step in a kindergarten relationship. I don't want to put any pressure on her. I don't know where her biological clock was at. You know that line about all you need to know in life, you learned in kindergarten? Well, I never learned what to do when a woman threw herself at me (albeit in a very G-rated way) in kindergarten, and that probably led to the flaming wreckage that has been my romantic life since. *shakes fist* My lawyers are contacting the school board as we speak.
1993 --- Hmmm......
By the way, these graphic graphics came from an article on Cracked.com. The funny thing is, there is a 70% chance my friend Jason will actually deliver one of these cards to his girlfriend today and consider it perfectly appropriate. Oh, Jason. You so crazy.
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