DREAM: I'm at my parents' house, and it seems like it's around midday. I go into the main floor bathroom to wash my hands, but a quick glance at the mirror suddenly makes me realize I'm clean-shaven! My playoff beard is gone!
I leave the washroom and instantly accuse my mother of entering my room in the night and (somehow) shaving my face while I slept through the whole thing. She basically just gives me a ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and says "I guess it's a mystery!"
And then I woke up.
ANALYSIS: While I am an accredited dream interpreter and explorer of the subconscious, one needn't be an accredited dream interpreter and explorer of the subconscious to figure this one out. My mom doesn't like my beard. She has said as much to my face. That is, when she has actually looked at my face, since she now basically can't do so without sighing or audibly saying "yikes!" My new name around the house is also now either Wolfman or Wildman.
It should be noted that she is thus far the only one who has pooh-poohed the beard thus far, since the overwhelming majority opinion among friends, peers, and colleagues is that I should keep it. Maybe with some styling, of course, since my sideburns were sticking out like I was some kind of Civil War general. I figure at the very least I need to keep the beard until Halloween, since it has been pointed out to me that, when I wear sunglasses, I now resemble Randy "Macho Man" Savage. All I need is a sequined robe and/or jacket with tassels, and I'll be rocking a great costume this year. DIG IT.
But let's be fair, is my subconscious telling me that mother knows best? Maybe she just needs to get a bit more accustomed to the look. For her next birthday, I'll simply get several giant portraits of my bearded face placed around the house, so it will be inescapable. No possible downside to this plan!
Since my bedroom door has a lock, the chances of an actual nocturnal razor attack are pretty slim. Plus, let's be real, I'm not sure how I wouldn't wake up at some point during that whole experience. Unless she were to drug me beforehand, but she would require access to everything I eat while.....hey wait....
I enjoy how this beard is still such a relatively new thing for me that I would feasibly go until the middle of the day without noticing it was missing. While I may be an accredited dream interpreter and explorer of the subconscious, it isn't out of the question that I'd be able to miss something so obvious to the conscious mind. I once mentioned to my buddy Trev that I'd noticed he'd gotten new license plates on his car, and he pointed out that he'd actually gotten....an entirely new car. What a keen eye!
I leave the washroom and instantly accuse my mother of entering my room in the night and (somehow) shaving my face while I slept through the whole thing. She basically just gives me a ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and says "I guess it's a mystery!"
And then I woke up.
ANALYSIS: While I am an accredited dream interpreter and explorer of the subconscious, one needn't be an accredited dream interpreter and explorer of the subconscious to figure this one out. My mom doesn't like my beard. She has said as much to my face. That is, when she has actually looked at my face, since she now basically can't do so without sighing or audibly saying "yikes!" My new name around the house is also now either Wolfman or Wildman.
It should be noted that she is thus far the only one who has pooh-poohed the beard thus far, since the overwhelming majority opinion among friends, peers, and colleagues is that I should keep it. Maybe with some styling, of course, since my sideburns were sticking out like I was some kind of Civil War general. I figure at the very least I need to keep the beard until Halloween, since it has been pointed out to me that, when I wear sunglasses, I now resemble Randy "Macho Man" Savage. All I need is a sequined robe and/or jacket with tassels, and I'll be rocking a great costume this year. DIG IT.
But let's be fair, is my subconscious telling me that mother knows best? Maybe she just needs to get a bit more accustomed to the look. For her next birthday, I'll simply get several giant portraits of my bearded face placed around the house, so it will be inescapable. No possible downside to this plan!
Since my bedroom door has a lock, the chances of an actual nocturnal razor attack are pretty slim. Plus, let's be real, I'm not sure how I wouldn't wake up at some point during that whole experience. Unless she were to drug me beforehand, but she would require access to everything I eat while.....hey wait....
I enjoy how this beard is still such a relatively new thing for me that I would feasibly go until the middle of the day without noticing it was missing. While I may be an accredited dream interpreter and explorer of the subconscious, it isn't out of the question that I'd be able to miss something so obvious to the conscious mind. I once mentioned to my buddy Trev that I'd noticed he'd gotten new license plates on his car, and he pointed out that he'd actually gotten....an entirely new car. What a keen eye!
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