Thursday, December 23, 2010

Random Nonsense



I'm chatting with a friend recently over MSN Messenger and we both commented on the fact that, well, nobody really uses Messenger anymore. GChat, Facebook chat, or just texting that seemingly made the ol' Messenger a relic of the past. It had a nice run of about 5-6 years as the top online instant messaging service, but its time it nearing the end. "Hey," I joked, "Messenger at least lasted longer than ICQ."

This piqued out curiosity, and imagine our surprise to discover that ICQ still exists! www.ICQ.com, there it is, big as life. And not just it is alive, it's doing its best to adapt to modern technology --- you can download ICQ for your iPhone, Android, etc. Going over this website, I felt like I was either in an alternate universe where ICQ didn't drop off the face of the planet, or I felt that ICQ is the online messaging equivalent of a middle-aged guy trying to stay relevant by adopting new trends. Basically, ICQ is Bruce McCulloch's "He's hip, he's cool, he's 45" character. Fitting, since I think ICQ was last relevant when the Kids In The Hall were still on the air.

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Someone with more video editing experience than I (or, someone who has all of the Office DVDs) needs to make a montage of scenes where Michael reacts to eating bad food. One of Steve Carell's most underrated running gags on that show.

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Today's challenge: Paula Malcomson vs. Rosemarie Dewitt. The question is, whose weird-ass nose stands out more on the actress' otherwise very pretty face? Now, I may be biased from watching 'Deadwood' and seeing Malcomson's nose stick out like a sore thumb over so many episodes, but Paula is the clear winner to me. Just looking at those IMDB links, Dewitt has several pictures of herself where you can't quite tell that her nose is wonky. With Malcomson, it's impossible to avoid. (I almost wrote 'the elephant in the room,' but I'm already pointing out her big nose as it is, no reason to bring up an elephant as well.) When I was watching Deadwood, I just presumed that the nose was an affectation created by the makeup team as a reminder of how Swearingen beats Trixie in the first couple of episodes. But, nope, once we got into the second season and it was still there, I began to catch on.

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Speaking of ruinous body parts....Reese Witherspoon's chin. Damn you, Seth Macfarlane. Were it not for that one Family Guy gag, I would never have noticed just how sharp Witherspoon's chin actually is. Now I can't NOT see it. This is even worse than the time Mena Suvari was ruined for me when she hosted Saturday Night Live and portrayed Aaron Carter in a sketch, and she looked EXACTLY LIKE AARON CARTER. No truth to the rumour that I spent the evening shuddering in a bathtub like the Crying Game guy.

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So I'm on Facebook, and I see a Netflix banner ad advertising, of all movies, What Happens In Vegas. Remember that one? Came out a couple of years ago, Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz in Vegas having hijinks? Disappeared from theatres in about 20 seconds? Yeah, that one. So naturally, it's the logical choice for Netflix to promote its service. 'Watch 'What Happens In Vegas' Any Time!' Gee, thanks, Netflix.

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Finally, let's end this edition of Random Nonsense with a bit of Christmas cheer. Namely, a mashup of Roxanne and Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer. Yeah. If you listen closely to Stewart Copeland's interviews, his voice gets almost as squeaky as Hermie's does when Stewart is whining about Sting.

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