Wednesday, January 03, 2007

A Meat Loaf Troika

Bat Out of Hell I --- Nothing says 2007 like watching a decrepit Meat Loaf wearing a Terrell Owens jersey singing a suggestive, 30-year-old love song with a backup singer roughly a third his age. On the plus side, the singer was smoking hot. On the down side, as a singer, Ellen Foley the original vocalist on Paradise by the Dashboard Light -- kicks her ass nine ways from Sunday. Fun fact: Ellen Foley used to be on Night Court in the pre-Markie Post era.

BOH II --- Last summer, I started one of my articles with a sentence like "Though the Blue Jays have yet to sweep a series all season, the club is taking Meat Loaf's advice: two out of three ain't bad." The Jays beat writer, Jordan, looked at the paragraph and was confused. Apparently Meat Loaf hasn't aged as well in the USA, since Jordan had never heard of the song. Far be it from me to question Jordan's musical tastes (his favourite band is Pearl Jam, so he's on the right track), but come on. Who hasn't heard of Two Out of Three Ain't Bad? I even plan to have it played at my funeral, provided that I die only accomplishing two of my three life's goals. All three involve either gaining superpowers or wrestling alligators, so I'd better get on it.

BOH III --- Speaking of Meat Loaf and baseball, here's a tidbit from

Meat Loaf has arranged for his ashes to be scattered over New York City's Yankee Stadium following his demise. Although it's illegal to do so, the heavyweight rocker has arranged a way to carry out his last request - but he's remaining tight lipped about the details.

The singer is a huge fan of the baseball team, and his macabre wish ensures he will always be there for the team at their home games.

He says, "I'm going to be cremated and a helicopter will drop my ashes over the Yankee Stadium in the Bronx, New York City. I can't tell you which company agreed to do it though, as it's illegal."

First of all, if Rudy Giuliani was still mayor, he'd send Meat Loaf's scofflaw carcass to Riker's Island. Secondly, say it ain't so, Loaf. A Yankees fan? This might cause me to hurl my copy of Bat Out of Hell into the rubbish bin. Does this mean 'Life Is A Lemon And I Want My Money Back' is actually about former New York manager Bob Lemon? And 'For Crying Out Loud' is about A-Rod?

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