Thursday, July 20, 2006

Mark Bueller's Day Off

The website gives its reporters a day off if the team plays a long, uninterrupted stretch of home games, so I had yesterday off. Ironically, it was on the day when Shea Hillenbrand was essentially kicked off the team. Geez, of all the days to miss....

Anyway, I had a nice day at the house. Went grocery shopping, did some reading, and went online for a bit. My living room is actually really nice – a lovely cool breeze flooded through the comically-large main window, so I was able to sit in comfort.

That evening, I went off to Lori’s for an evening of (deep breath) Canada’s Next Top Model and So You Think You Can Dance. Now I know what you’re thinking. “Mark, clearly spending so much time interviewing half-naked guys in a clubhouse has turned you.” Not at all. It was more a reason to hang out with Lori and her crew, since Tuesday was her birthday. Also, keep in mind that I don’t have any TV at all in my house. It was good to see something, anything, sent through the ol’ cathode ray.

Anyway, Top Model was ridiculous. I’m not a fan of reality shows where I have no idea what goes into the judging, and so my layman opinions end up holding less water than a sieve. The final three girls were all nothing to write home about looks-wise, and the problem was compounded when the photogs and stylists shot them and put them into outfits and makeup that made them look worse, rather than better. Then, the judging panel looks at the photos and critiques the girls on how they posed – but the girls had no input on that! It was the photogs and shoot directors that posed them! Argh!

Man, I’m way too wound up by this show for someone who doesn't care. Anyway, the girl who looked kind of Marilyn Manson defeated the girl who looked normal. I personally know about 90 women who would’ve just destroyed on this show. Hire me as casting director for the next one, CityTV. Not just so I can improve the calibre of contestants, but also because, well, casting models is just a pretty frickin' sweet job.

The dancing show was more entertaining, since everyone was clearly talented but you could still tell which ones were better than others. You could tell that all of the dancers are those peppy, annoying kids that got on your nerves in high school drama class, but still, they were pretty talented. There was one douchebag, a Russian guy, whose main dance move was to continually rip off his shirt at the end of his routine. It’s actually rather a canny move, since they stay on the show due to viewer calls, so obviously he wants to stand out as ‘the hot guy’ and get the horny-teenage-girl demographic working for him. On the downside, he’s a douchebag. And even though Rocky told us all that if he could change, we all could change at the conclusion of Rocky IV, America just isn’t ready to embrace a Russian as a pin-up. Well, except Anna Kournikova, but men will throw away all national rivalries when confronted with a pretty girl. This is why we need to get the Hezbollah leader’s son to fall in love with the Israeli PM’s daughter. This is what happened in Romeo & Juliet, and that ended well!.....wait…..

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